Idiot Renegade
by Meowzy-chan
Summary: Prequel to the Idiot Seraphim series! This parody fic shows the game from Yuan's point of view, and it's covering every single Yuan scene and mention. The ending will alter, to match the Idiot seraphim series. YxK
1. Chapter one

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade.

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, or the characters! If I did, I'd be the coolest person alive.

Anyway... Yup, another idiot fic by Meowzy-chan. I bet a few of you might be thinking "Oh god, when will the horror end?" and my response is "Not just yet."  
This time, a lovely sort of prequel to the Idiot seraphim series. Pretty much the entire story (with some exceptions) is from Yuan's point of view. It's also set during the actual game. So if you haven't played the game,you will be spoilered.Ofcourse, the ending will alter to match the beginning of Idiot seraphim.

Ofcourse it's supporting YuanxKratos. Technically, there can't be any ZelosxLloyd because Zelos hasn't discovered his inner gayness yet, but I'll see what I can do. MithosxGenis... Maybe in the last chapters.  
And beware of the incredible OOC-ness! (especially Yuan himself)

Was that all I had to say? I think so, yeah. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter one. 

Our story starts in a spiffy, high-tech building, hidden from the view of commoners in a desolate desert. This building is Sylvarant's base of the Renegades, the organisation bent on thwarting Mithos Yggdrasill. In the tastefully decorated office, a blue-haired half-elf was staring fixatedly at his computer screen. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Enter." Said the half-elf shortly. The door opened and another half-elf, with spiky black hair walked in.

"Good afternoon, lord Yuan. Botta reporting for duty, sir!" Botta said, saluting.

"Loosen up, you old goat. And go away. Can't you see I'm busy?" Yuan snapped, not taking his eyes off the computer screen. Botta wondered what right Yuan had to call _him_ old. The blue-haired man was at least a hundred times older than him.

"Sir, I'm sure your game of Minesweeper can wait." Botta sighed.

"It's not minesweeper! It's 3D pinball. And I'm really close to beating my high-score." Yuan pouted.

"Pause it. There are more important matters at hand here."

"Oh fine." Yuan hit the pause button and turned to his right-hand man. "Make it quick."

"Well, I've got good news and bad news." Botta began.

"Oooh boy. Right, well, you can start with the bad news. That way, when I get really down, the good news might be able to cheer me up a bit." Yuan sighed.

"Right, the bad news." Botta cleared his throat. "As you ordered, a few renegades and I went to the Martel temple, to stop the chosen from receiving her oracle. We were _this_ close to defeating her and her little friends…" Botta held his index finger on top of his thumb to emphasise his point. "When Kratos appeared and saved them."

"Really? Kratos?" Yuan immediately sat up, and his eyes sparkled.

"He defeated our soldiers with ease, so we had no choice but to retreat. He then aided the chosen in receiving her oracle, and will probably keep travelling with her."

"What was he wearing?"

"Excuse me?"

"Kratos. What was he wearing?" Yuan urged.

"What's that got to do with anything?" Botta frowned.

"We need to be able to think like the enemy, if we want to defeat him. Now, don't make me ask you again."

"He was wearing his purple outfit." Botta said, rolling his eyes.

"Ooooh, I love those tight pants!" Yuan drooled slightly, and his eyes glazed over. Botta coughed loudly. "Oh, sorry. Continue."

"And now, for the good news."

"Oooh, you took pictures?" Yuan asked immediately.

"No."

"Dammit Botta! How many times do I have to tell you to bring your camera? You never know what might happen!"

"Very well sir. I'll try and remember next time. Now, the actual good news."

"Bring it." Yuan said, sitting up.

"One of our Desian insiders informed us that the Desians have just issued a warning to capture a boy named Lloyd. He apparently ticked off Forcystus."

"So?…"

"This boy is around the age of sixteen. The same age Kratos's son would be. His body was never found, you know."

"And?… There must be like a million Lloyd's out there. How can you be certain this is the same kid?"

"It's Lloyd with double 'L'." Botta said shortly. Yuan gasped.

"It _is_ the same kid! But I don't see how this is good news…"

"If we can capture the boy, we might be able to force Kratos into releasing Origin's seal. Then Yggdrasill's pact with the eternal sword will be broken, and we can use it for ourselves!"

"Botta, may I remind you that Kratos will die if we release the seal? I'd rather avoid people I care about getting killed."

"There are millions of other lives at stake here. We can save them all if we reunite the worlds." Botta argued.

"…"

"Just think of the look on Yggdrasill's face when he finds out the pact is broken!" Botta said. Yuan envisioned it, and grinned widely.

"Tell all the renegades to keep an eye out for this Lloyd kid! I want him captured!"

* * *

((Well? Well? It's a disappointment, isn't it? -_weeps in a corner_-)) 


	2. Chapter two

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade.

((Oh my! 5 reviews?

**Zoray Zorial:** Yesh, I read your story. It's very awesome. You should keep writing too!

**Katandshadow:** I bet every single Kratos fangirl/guy loves his pants. ... Oh dear, you hit Botta in the head with that camera...

**Blackdrak:** Damn you, addicting pinball games! (yay! this fic shows promise!)

**Dragonwings144:** Ooooh, you faved! Yay!

**Ookami Aya:** Yuan, Botta and the pants! The crazy trio!

So... The chapter we've all been waiting for! Yuan's first meeting with Lloyd!))

* * *

Chapter two. 

That evening, Yuan was getting ready to go to bed. He'd made himself a cup of hot cocoa, just the way he liked it, and was browsing the book shelf for something to read before going to sleep.

'What about Parry Hotter and the philosopher's kidney stone? I've only read that one two-hundred and six times…' he thought. As an immortal being, you have a lot of time to read. His pondering was disturbed, however, when the door to his office opened and a boy stormed in.

"Phew, that was close." The boy sighed.

"And just who the hell are you?" Yuan asked. The boy turned and stared at him, mouth slightly open. There was a long silence. Then Yuan looked down and noticed why the boy was staring.

"Eep!" he quickly grabbed his cloak from a nearby coat-rack, and swung it around himself to hide his bright pink pyjamas. "You saw nothing…"

"Uhuh…" the boy blinked.

"So as I was saying… Who the hell are you?"

"Give me your name, and I shall give you mine." The boy shrugged. Yuan smirked.

"You have a great sense of humour, kid." He admitted. "But I'm afraid I don't see the need to introduce myself to a miserable little creature such as yourself."

"What a coincidence. I don't see the need to introduce myself to a moron who doesn't realize how pathetic he is." The boy grinned evilly.

"Why you little…!" Yuan completely forgot about magic, as he reached out and started to strangle the twerp with his bare hands.

Suddenly, the door opened again, but this time Botta stormed in.

"Sir, have you- Hey, it's Lloyd!"

"Hey, it's that Desian I saw at the Martel temple!" Lloyd choked.

"You're Lloyd?" Yuan put the boy down again, and stepped back to take a better look. "Yes, I do see the resemblance…"

"Watchoo talkin' bout?" Lloyd frowned.

"Never you mind!"

"Oh, nearly forgot why I stormed in here." Botta said suddenly. "The chosen's group is headed this way. And Kratos is with them too."

"Really? Kratos?" Yuan's eyes started to sparkle. Lloyd and Botta stared at him. "Errr… I mean… Everything will be ruined if he sees me here." Yuan coughed. "I leave it to you Botta."

"Yes sir! You can count on me! I shall not let you down!" Botta saluted.

"Riiight." Yuan turned to Lloyd. "Hey kid, next time we meet, you're mine."

There was a small silence.

"Oh my god! Ewwwwwwww! You paedophile!" Lloyd shuddered.

"I didn't mean it like that, you moron! Jeez!" Yuan hurried into his bedroom. Just as the door closed behind him, the door into the office opened and a group of random people stormed in. Yuan quickly pushed his ear against the door to listen to the sound of battle. It was over in two minutes, however, as Botta came limping through the door and locked it behind him.

"I failed, sir."

"Gee, ya think?" Yuan said sarcastically, before eavesdropping on the conversation that was going on in his office.

"You guys! You came to save me!"

"Ofcourse we did Lloyd!" said a high-pitched voice, belonging to a certain blondie.

"You get captured too easily." Said another boy.

"Shut up Genis!"

"It's true!"

"Nuhuh! I bet Colette will get captured a lot more times than me!"

"Wanna bet?"

"You're on!"

"Would you stop arguing?" asked a female voice.

"Yes, professor." The two boys said slowly. There was a small silence.

"Ooh look! Hot cocoa!" Lloyd called, and there was a loud slurping sound. On the other side of the door, Yuan was seething. 'Darn you Lloyd, that was my cocoa and you know it!' he thought, clenching his fists.

"Hmm… Cocoa with marshmallows and a twinge of mint!"

"That's what Yuan always drinks…"

"What was that, Kratos?"

"… Nothing. Let's get out of here."

* * *

((Kratos remembered what Yuan likes to drink! Awwwwww!)) 


	3. Chapter three

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: -_hums a random song_-

**Dragonwings144:** What, you didn't love the pairing before? Well, atleast now you have seen the error of your ways... -_giggle_-

**Katandshadow:** I want Tales of Legendia too... But they haven't even announced a European release date yet...

**Sesshy is Sexii:** Nah, you can't really feel bad for Botta. He's just the random sidekick of the story. Ofcourse, he gets a bigger role during the whole... Remote island ranch part. But still...

**Off:**Kratos is a pervert because he knows Yuan's favourite drink? LOL! You'd think that if they used to travel together, you'd know that sort of stuff about each other. (especially if Yuan would start nagging and refuse to drink it because there were no marshmellows.)

**CrystalFlume:** I'm keeping it up. I have 17 chapters written already, and I haven't even gotten to the Remote island ranch yet.

And now... the start of the illusive Assasin sidequest. It can be triggered only by going to certain inns at certain times in the game. I managed to find 4 in total, but nobody is sure just how many there are. It's not even sure if the assasin is Yuan... But who cares?))

* * *

Chapter three. 

The next day, Yuan heard some interesting news.

"The chosen is still in Triet?" he asked, astounded. He thought she had moved on to the next seal by now.

"Yeah. Apparently she fell through a wall, and the group was forced to stay there an extra day, to help fix it." Botta explained.

"This is perfect!" Yuan got to his feet and headed for the door.

"Sir, where are you going?"

"I will go there, and avenge my hot cocoa! And perform my renegade duties at the same time!"

"... Sir, don't you think you need a plan first?" Botta asked.

"Plans are overrated!"

An hour later, Yuan was wandering around the Triet's inn. The sun had already set. The front door was locked, as was the back door, and a few sidedoors.

"Hmm... Maybe I should have thought of a plan afterall." Yuan mumbled, scanning the surroundings. Then, he noticed something that made him smile.

"One of those idiots left his window open!"

Yuan extended his wings and flew upwards. He climbed over the windowsill, and hopped into the room. Squinting in the darkness, he noticed the person sleeping in the bed had a familiar mane of spikey brown hair.

'I have the best of luck!' Yuan grinned. He took out a knife, and approached the sleeping boy. Halfway there, however, he stepped on a twig that had somehow found its way into a desert inn room. The twig made a nasty snapping sound, and Lloyd's eyes immediately shot open.

"Who's there!"

"Fuck!" Yuan quickly jumped out the window, right before the lights turned on. It wasn't until after he jumped, that he remembered jumping out a window is bad. Luckily, he landed in a conveniently placed stack of hay.

'I have the worst of luck…' he thought.

* * *

A few days later, Yuan heard a rumor that the chosen was staying in Palmacosta. So once again, he was sneaking around an inn in the middle of the night. 

'Bah, this sea air is ruining my hair!' he thought, looking around for an entrance. And once again he noticed something to make him smile. 'That moron left his window open again! But I won't screw up a second time!'

Yuan quickly flew towards the window, and clambered through it. Then he noticed it wasn't Lloyd's room at all. It belonged to a certain blondie.

'Ohwell. I'll just kill the chosen now that I'm here.' he shrugged and tiptoed towards the bed. But then he recieved quite a shock. The chosen wasn't asleep at all. In fact, she was reading a book. He tried to silently turn away, but the girl had already noticed him. There was a long silence, and then she let out a high-pitched shriek. Yuan swiftly hopped back, towards the window. But he wasn't quick enough to avoid the book that was thrown in his face. With a girlish shriek, he tumbled over the windowsill, and fell into the sea water ten feet below.

"Damn chosens and their angel abilities!" Yuan shouted, splashing about. He noticed the chosen's book floating next to him. He grabbed it and looked at the title. 'How to deal with insomnia.' it read.

* * *

"The chosen's group is in Luin already?" Yuan asked, another few days later. "I thought they were supposed to be in Asgard about now." 

"Maybe they had trouble finding it, and drifted off course a bit. It wouldn't be the first time that happened to a chosen." Botta shrugged.

"Heh, I remember when I first went to Asgard. I got lost and ended up in Hima." Yuan said. "Good times, good times. Right. Well, I'm off to either kill the chosen, or kidnap Lloyd to force Kratos to release the seal. Though kidnapping Lloyd would be a more permanent solution, killing the chosen will make me feel good!" Yuan got to his feet. "Cross your fingers that I'll be able to do both."

"I will sir!" Botta saluted.

"Cross them like you mean it!" Yuan ordered, narrowing his eyes, before walking out the door.

"..." Botta shrugged and sat down behind the desk so he could try and beat Yuan's pinball high score on his laptop.

* * *

((2 assasin scenes down, 2 to go. If you've seen the scene in Luin's inn, you'll know whose room it is. But don't go spoiling it for the others, okay?)) 

((The first time I went to Asgard, I got lost too. I just walked right past it...))


	4. Chapter four

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Oooh, 5 reviews!

**Dragonwings144:** I'm keepin' it up. Don't worry.

**Katandshadow:** Steamy? LOL! Well... no... Okay, maybe a little. I mean... Humm... Oh, look behind you! -_flee_-

**Sesshy is sexii:** Yuan's thought process is kinda based on my thought process. Ofcourse, with a touch of idiocy, randomness and Kratos obsession...

**131Kratos:** Stupid Asgard, hidden behind stupid mountains... You walk straight on to the house of Salvation, then Lake Umacy and Luin... But where you was Asgard, you wonder. Gah, I hated that place.

**Off:** Well, his electric ball makes noise, and lights up the room. It would risk waking Lloyd up, right? It was also a slight reference to a comic I drew once. It's on my Deviantart.

Enjoy the third (and longest) assasin scene!))

* * *

Chapter four. 

Yuan arrived at Luin, where night had already fallen. Just to make sure, he grabbed the handle of the inn's front door. To his surprise, it wasn't locked.

'Awesome!' Yuan pushed the door open and entered the inn. He had just started walking up the stairs when the front door opened again, and a woman with short white hair came in, locking the door behind her. Yuan quickly pushed himself into the shadows, but the woman had heard him.

"Kratos, is that you?" she whispered.

"… Hmmhmm."

"Are you going to bed now too?"

"Uhuh."

"Okay. Good night."

"Night." Yuan said in a really low voice.

"Have you caught a cold or something?" the woman asked.

"… Yeah." Yuan said in the same voice, faking a cough.

"You sound awful." The woman concluded, and she entered a room on the first floor. Yuan let out a breath of relief, and continued his way up the stairs. He ended up in a hallway with three doors.

'Uhoh… Well, better do this the way I always decide important things.' He thought. He took a deep breath.

"Eeny meeny miny moe, catch a Mithos by the toe. If he hollers, shout 'disco'. Eeny meeny miny moe." He whispered softly, pointing to a different door at every syllable. He ended up on the door on the far right.

'Here goes nothing.' He thought, approaching it. He pushed it open, swiftly shot into the room, and closed it behind him again.

* * *

It wasn't until he turned around to face the room that he noticed there were several things wrong here. The first was that it was not dark at all. The lights were still on. The second thing was that the inhabitant of the room was not in bed, but standing right on front of him. And the third thing would be that it was neither Lloyd's nor the chosen's room. 

"Yuan?" Kratos asked, staring at the blue-haired man before him.

"… You're just dreaming! In a few seconds, I will jump out that window, and you will realize that I was not really here." Yuan said slowly.

"Oh, come off it! Angels don't sleep, and you know that just as well as I do." Kratos crossed his arms and tapped his feet impatiently. "Why are you here?"

"Uh… Yggdrasill sent me! Yeah. I was supposed to check up on you, and see how your mission is going." Yuan said nervously. He took a small sidestep towards the window.

"Riiight. Two things wrong with that excuse. One, I just sent my report to Yggdrasill. Two, I doubt Yggdrasill would send _you_. He always sends Pronyma to spy on people."

"Damnit!" Yuan grumbled, taking another sidestep to the window that was still very far away.

"Last chance to tell me why you are here."

"Errr… Well, you see… I…" Yuan decided to use his secret trump card. This is where all those years of acting class would finally pay off. "I came here to see you because… I miss you!" Yuan said dramatically, and Kratos's jaw dropped. "We haven't seen each other in ages now! And Yggdrasill always sends you off on some stupid mission. I… got lonely!"

'Just keep talking, and slowly make for the window…' Yuan thought frantically, still edging towards the only exit, but not taking his eyes off Kratos.

"And uh… I figured that we should get together one day, and have lunch or something. And then we can make fun of Yggdrasill, just like the old days! And… Errrr… I think you deserve better than this. Being forced to babysit stupid kids. I bet it's boring. So… That's why I'm here." Yuan was a few feet away from the window now. Kratos was still staring at him with his mouth slightly open, completely at loss for words.

"Right. Well, I can see you're busy, so uh…"

Yuan broke off when he heard footsteps in the hallway. His fellow seraph didn't seem to hear them, due to his state of shock. Panicking, he did the first thing that popped into his head, and that was to dive out the window. This time, however, there was no seawater or hay-stack to break his fall. Since his reflexes were even worse than Genis's, he landed face down in some bushes before he'd even thought of pulling out his wings. He barely heard Kratos shout "Wait!". Afraid to move, he listened to the conversation taking place in the room above him.

"Kratos, what happened?" asked Lloyd's voice.

"Err… It must've been the assassin again." Kratos said slowly.

"Again? Hah, what an idiot. He failed three times now!" Lloyd laughed.

'Yeah, rub it in, why don't you?' Yuan thought angrily.

"Well, back to bed now. Night Lloyd." There was the sound of Kratos shoving Lloyd into the hallway and locking the door behind him. A few seconds later, Yuan heard something land in the grass a few feet away.

* * *

((Cliffhanger! Muahahahaha! Muahahahahahahahah!)) 

((Did the YuanxKratos fans enjoy themselves? Trust me, it gets even better.))


	5. Chapter five

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: -_singing along with the Avenue Q musical_-

**CrystalFlume:** Five in Triet? Were they all assasin scenes? And all before the Tower of salvation scene? Are you for real?

**Sesshy is sexii:**Rhyming! Awwww! That was a cute narration!

**Katandshadow: **Lol! Time to make your life complete then.))

* * *

Chapter five. 

"Are you okay?" Kratos asked, helping Yuan to his feet.

"I think I bwoke my nwose…" Yuan muttered, covering his face with his hands. Kratos sighed and looked around to see if there was anyone nearby. The place was abandoned, as is the custom at two o' clock in the morning.

"First aid." He said softly, and Yuan was surrounded by a bunch of green lights, as his nose healed.

"Thanks." Yuan said awkwardly. He leant against the wall behind him and looked up to see just how high that window was. It was pretty damn high. Then he noticed Kratos approaching him and reaching out to touch his face. Yuan quickly suppressed a blush.

"W-what?" he stuttered. When Kratos pulled his hand back, the man was holding a small twig. "What the… Stupid bushes!" Yuan quickly ran his fingers through his hair to check for more twigs.

"You know, about what you were saying earlier… You were right." Kratos said.

"Huh?" Yuan stopped brushing his hair and faced the auburn-haired man.

"About this mission being pretty boring. And it does get lonely."

"… Oh!" Yuan had a slight feeling he wasn't out of trouble yet. Where was Kratos going with this story?

"And that Genis boy is just soooo annoying. I just wanna punch him! But if I do, I'll blow my cover. Or worse, get his sister after me." Kratos rolled his eyes.

"Uhuh…"

"Any idea how hard it is to guard a girl who manages to trip while she is flying?" Kratos continued. Yuan suddenly felt a lot of sympathy for him. "But anyway, I'm glad you came by. And I'd love to have lunch with you some day."

"Wow, the way you say it, it sounds like a date!" Yuan exclaimed. Then he turned red.

"Is that a bad thing?" Kratos frowned.

"No! I mean… well…" Yuan tried to think of something to say to that, but was saved the need to, when he suddenly found himself being kissed by Kratos.

'What the hell! This can't be right! Must… run… away! … Damn, he's a good kisser! Hey, bad Yuan! You're supposed to be kidnapping his son, or killing the girl he's supposed to guard! Not make out with him! What does it mean? What does it mean!'

"Aaaaargh! I'm so confuuuuused!" Yuan shouted, pushing Kratos off him again and fleeing the scene. Meanwhile, Kratos grinned contently. He loved getting on Yuan's nerves. But little did he know, he was being watched.

* * *

The next morning, when the group was having breakfast at the inn, Colette decided to start a conversation. 

"I had the strangest dream last night…" she began, as Kratos picked up his glass of water. "I dreamt I opened the window for some fresh air, and Kratos was outside, kissing some blue-haired woman."

Kratos immediately spat his water across the table, as Lloyd and Genis howled with laughter.

"You have the wildest imagination Colette!" Genis called, banging his fist on the table.

"Kratos and a woman! Ahahahah!" Lloyd fell off his chair.

"Stop it guys. That's not funny." Raine said, trying very hard not to smirk.

"Hey Colette, wasn't it more like a nightmare?" Genis asked, wiping tears of laugher off his face.

"I really don't see the humour in all this." Kratos said in a really evil voice that shut everyone up immediately.

* * *

Meanwhile, Yuan was lying on a red couch in his office, angsting. 

"Well sir, I can speculate a lot of theories, but what do _you_ think the problem is?" Botta asked, scribbling in a notebook.

"Well, mister therapist…"

"Call me Botta."

"Okay, Botta… I think that maybe, just _maybe_, I have developed feelings for Kratos over the years, even though I'm supposed to be thwarting his plans, along with Yggdrasill's." Yuan said, staring at the ceiling.

"Uh… I thought we'd already established this fact a couple of years ago?" Botta asked.

"We had? I only found out yesterday."

"Sir… Do you have any idea how obvious it was? The photos, the way your eyes always sparkle when someone mentions his name, the Kratos teddybear, the secret shrine behind your wardrobe…"

"How do you know about my secret shrine?" Yuan growled, sitting up.

"Errrrr… Oh gee, will you look at the time. Session is over." Botta quickly hurried away.

* * *

((-_grin_- Finally, some real YuanxKratos in this story. Muahahaha!)) 


	6. Chapter six

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: And here be the next chapter.

**Sesshy is sexii: **Awwwz... Yuan cuddling with the Kratos teddy... Would make adorable fanart.

**Katandshadow:** Yeah, the secret shrine. What you gotta do is finish the game fifteen times, go to the renegade base in Triet, do the chicken dance cheat, and the closet door will open! (Nah, I'm just kidding...)

**Otaku Sage of Llamas: **Whoooh, I got your first ToS review! D

**Dragonwings144:** Well, the problem with Zelloyd hints would be that Zelos hasn't joined the team yet...))

* * *

Chapter six. 

A few days later, Yuan was still sulking in his office. He spent his time reading angst fanfics on the internet, and eating abnormal amounts of icecream.

"Sir, snap out of it!" Botta called, when he'd had enough.

"Oh Fai, why can't you see Kurogane really _does_ care about you?" Yuan sniffed, dabbing his eyes with a hankie as he stared at his computer screen. Botta rolled his eyes and pulled the plug out of the laptop. It made a nasty sound as it shut down due to power shortage.

"Hey, what gives?" Yuan turned to Botta.

"Sir, hand over the icecream!" Botta extended his hand.

"W-whah? No!"

"It's unhealthy!"

"I don't care! It's caramel with chocolate chips, and it's mine!" Yuan held the tub of icecream close to his chest.

"Alright, fine. Keep the damn icecream. But you have to stop acting like a woman who's just been dumped." Botta crossed his arms. Yuan made a faint, depressing sound.

"I know something that will cheer you up!" Botta said suddenly. "Remember mission 'Steal Kvar's gel'?"

"Huh?"

"The one where we break into his ranch and steal his hairgel, making him a powerless wussy." Botta reminded him.

"Oh, yeah… That was one of my masterpieces."

"Well, while we were at Asgard ranch, we ran into the chosen's group. And Kratos, ofcourse." Botta said, and somehow Yuan's eyes still managed to sparkle. "So this time… I took pictures." Botta laid a couple of pictures down on the desk. One of them was Kratos staring blankly in some random direction, one was Kratos staring blankly at the camera, one was of Kratos shouting at the camera, and one was of Kratos using the chosen as a shield from the camera. Yuan stared at them and made a low whining sound.

"Wait, what's that one? Oh my god! My eyes!" he pointed blindly at another picture, that didn't quite seem to fit in. It was a picture of Pronyma, stepping out the shower.

"Oooops, how did that get in there?" Botta quickly pocketed the picture, as Yuan ran off to rinse his eyes.

* * *

The shock of the picture, however, did seem to have snapped Yuan out of his depression. It had shown him that there are stranger obsessions than the one he had with Kratos. So he'd headed out to once again try and kill the chosen. For some reason, the group had returned to Triet for a day. So as usual, he was skulking around the inn, trying to find a way inside. It was a tough one this time. But there was one window that was open at a crack. Yuan decided to try and force that one open a bit further. So there he was, levitating in front of it and trying to push the window frame upwards. It seemed to be stuck. 

'Stupid vertical window things.' Yuan thought angrily, pulling out a crowbar. After a few minutes, he decided that the crowbar didn't do much good either, and threw it away. 'Come on! Put your back into it!' he started pushing the window with all his might, until it made a strange snapping sound and shot open. The force of it cause Yuan to fall inside with a crash.

"Aah! Who's there!" Lloyd shouted. Yuan looked behind him to see that the window had already fallen shut again. So in a wave of panic, he threw his cloak up over his face before the lights got turned on, and shot out the door on the other side of the room. He ended up in the hallway, and saw that Kratos was already running up the stairs.

'Uhoh!' he quickly threw himself over the wooden ledge, and landed in front of the counter on the first floor. Without looking back, he quickly used magic to blast the door open, and ran outside.

* * *

((Abrubt ending, aint it? Well, I couldn't really think of anything else... Heh...)) 

((Fai and Kurogane are from Tsubasa reservoir chronicle! Watch that anime!))


	7. Chapter seven

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Ohayo!

**Katandshadow:** Yeah, there are always more unhealthy obsessions. Having an obsession with an old, greenhaired hag is one of them.

**Sesshy is sexii:** The Tsubasa manga rocks. Are you up to date with the Japanese version? I am! Chapter 106 ruled!

**The-Assassin-Sheena:** Thanks for your reviews! Keep reading!

And now... The Hima scene!))

* * *

Chapter seven. 

"This is getting ridiculous!" Yuan banged his fist on his desk.

"What is, sir?" Botta asked.

"I've failed four times now! Four! And do you know whose fault it is?"

"…"

That's right, Kratos's!"

"I could've sworn it was because you always managed to get caught."

"No it's not! If Kratos wasn't there, and I'd gotten caught, I'd just smite everyone who got in my way. Now I'm much too busy making sure he doesn't interfere."

Suddenly, the office door opened and random renegade number three-hundred and eight ran in. He quickly whispered something in Botta's ear and ran out again.

"Oh dear. Sir, I've just received information that the chosen has arrived in Hima, and will leave for the tower of Salvation tomorrow morning!" Botta exclaimed.

"That cannot be good…" Yuan pondered.

"Sir, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Why yes, we should get some new curtains to match those shoes I bought the other day. Good thinking Botta!" Yuan smiled.

"Errr… No. I was thinking that we have to get Kratos out of the way, and destroy the chosen before she gets a chance to leave for the tower of Salvation!" Botta explained.

"How are you going to do that? Lure him away with a sandwich? I tried once, it didn't work."

"Well, if you'd just assassinate Kratos instead of the chosen…"

"_Excuse_ me?" Yuan got to his feet and glared at Botta, who cowered. "Don't use such foul language in front of me ever again! How _dare_ you! The mere idea of assassinating one of my oldest friends and obsessions…"

"But sir, he was going to die by your hands eventually. I mean, if you were to kidnap his son and force him to release Origin's seal, he would die too. It's the same thing, basically." Botta reasoned.

"But still… I couldn't kill him with my own hands…" Yuan sat down again.

"Sir, may I remind you once again of Yggdrasill's expression when he finds out the pact is broken?" Botta asked. Yuan envisioned it again, only this time with Yggdrasill wearing a tutu. He grinned widely, making Botta a bit nervous.

"Well, alright then. I'll give it a shot."

* * *

By the time Yuan had gathered all his favourite assassination equipment and arrived at Hima, it was already five o' clock in the morning. He was lying on top of a ledge, overlooking the village. The village that only consisted of one building, a graveyard, and a hobo selling items. 

'I'll just have to do it quick and painless… Well, painless for me anyway. It'll probably be painful for Kratos. Unless I kill him in one shot…' Yuan whimpered slightly at the thought. 'Boy, I hope I don't regret this. Well, it's for the greater good.'

The inn's door opened, and Kratos came out. He stretched out in the morning air and approached Noishe.

'Oh god, he's talking to that mutt _again_? I told him so many times it's just not healthy.' Yuan rolled his eyes. 'Anyway, here goes nothing.' Yuan got to his feet and extended his hand, causing an orb of lightning to form in its palm. He closed his eyes for a second, and teleported himself right next to Kratos. But then a whole bunch of stuff happened in the fraction of a second.

"Kratos, watch out!" shouted a voice somewhere near the inn, and Kratos had immediately unsheathed his sword. Yuan doubled over as the cold steel created a deep slash, just below his abdomen. He looked up to see Kratos staring at him. The strange thing was that the auburn-haired man's eyes seemed slightly unfocused. It didn't look like he'd recognised Yuan at all.

'Oh my god, he neglected to wear his contact lenses! I'm so lucky!' Yuan silently cheered. Then he remembered his current position. He quickly teleported out of there, and reappeared in his office, where he fell to his knees, clutching his stomach.

"Sir, what happened?" Botta called, running towards him.

"I… got caught again." Yuan managed a weak smile, before fainting.

* * *

((Nawwwww, poor Yuan!... Luckily, something like that won't kill him!)) 

((Heheh, Yggdrasill wearing a tutu!))


	8. Chapter eight

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Wow, look at all those reviews!

**Sesshy is sexii:** More importantly, what was Yuan leading Kratos away from? And what was in the sandwich? A sleep drug perhaps?

**Katandshadow:** Well, Kratos might accidentally hurt Yuan when they... heheheheheheheheheh...

**Silver Latias: **Hey, who wouldn't grin when imagining Yggy in a tutu? Yggy himself, perhaps... But otherwise...

**KrATOs LuVeR: **I'll be delving further into that contacts joke next chapter. Because it's just sooo much fun to imagine Kratos with contacts.

**DragonWings: **Yup, now you know. It all makes sense!

**DraNKa:** Lol! I bet Genis would love to see Yggy in a tutu... ))

* * *

Chapter eight. 

Yuan woke up feeling slightly dazed. He heard some faint muttering all around him. He kept his eyes closed, as he tried to remember what happened. It took him about a minute, since he was very slow that day. His eyes shot open and he immediately sat up. Pretty much every Renegade in the base was grouped around his bed, and they smiled when they saw their leader was awake. Yuan stared at a whole heap of 'Get well' cards on top of his nightstand.

"Sir, we're so glad you're up! That's a pretty nasty injury you got there!" Botta exclaimed.

"What the hell are you all doing here?" Yuan growled.

"Everyone wanted to make sure you're okay." Botta explained, and the renegades nodded in agreement.

"Get back to work!" Yuan roared, and the renegades slowly filed out of Yuan's bedroom again. Botta made to leave too, but Yuan stopped him.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"Errr… It's half past seven in the morning, sir." Botta replied.

"What about the chosen!"

"Well, we figured your health was more important than doing our jobs properly." Botta shrugged.

"Moron! I'm a seraph, so I can't easily die! Right now the chosen might already be releasing the final seal! You have to go there and stop her!" Yuan shouted.

"Me? But I'm just a sidekick!"

"That's exactly what sidekicks are for! They take over when the leader isn't capable of performing his duties!"

"But I-"

"This is where all your sidekick training comes in handy!" Yuan said nodding. Botta shuddered as the bad memories resurfaced.

* * *

/Flashback/ 

Yuan was sitting in his chair with his feet up on the desk, sipping a cocktail drink, when Botta came waddling into the office, breathing heavily.

"Did you finish the twenty laps around the base?" Yuan enquired.

"No sir. I fainted after two." Botta gasped for breath.

"Weakling." Yuan replied shortly. "Looks like toilet duty for the rest of the week."

"Nooo! Anything but that!" Botta groaned. Yuan took his feet down from the desk and turned to his faithful, but currently exhausted sidekick-in-training.

"Pop quiz time!" he called. "It's four o' clock in the afternoon, and I ask you to make coffee. What kind do you make?"

"A cappuccino with extra caffeine." Botta replied.

"Good. What kind of polish do you use on the rheairds?"

"Dimensional-proof metallic shine."

"Excellent." Yuan nodded approvingly. "Now, imagine, if you will. You're walking through a forest. You see Kratos and the chosen sitting in a clearing, having a picnic. Kratos is having a sandwich with bacon, lettuce and tomato, and the chosen is having a ham and cheese sandwich. Suddenly, the chosen chokes on her sandwich. Kratos gets up to help her. What do you do?"

"Errr… I'd try to knock Kratos out cold, so that he can't help the chosen, who will then die due to suffocation." Botta said, thinking hard.

"Wrong!" Yuan shouted. "That was a trick question! Kratos hates tomatoes, and therefore couldn't possibly be eating a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich!"

"… What? But how was I supposed to know that?"

"Don't worry, you're just a n00b. In time, you'll be able to tell these things too." Yuan nodded, and got to his feet. "Now drop and gimme twenty!"

"But sir…"

"Do it!"

"Yes sir…" Botta sighed and dropped to the floor to do twenty push-ups. He collapsed after four.

/End flashback/

* * *

((Ooooof... Short chapter... Ohwell.)) 


	9. Chapter nine

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Ohayo!

**Katandshadow:** Hooray for implied stuff! -_throws lemons at you_-

**Sesshy is sexii: **Ofcourse Yuan is peculiar! This fic isn't called Idiot Renegade for nothing! And... Yes... Yuan did find out the hard way that Kratos does not like tomatoes. I'm getting back on that in a later chapter.

**Dragonwings144:** Wow, you must really love Botta...

**Silver Latias:** Yup, it truly is a big base. I wonder if Yuan himself could manage twenty laps... -_ponders_-

And now, a little funfact! In the official ToS manga, there is no Botta, and I'm pretty sure there's no Hima scene either. Yuan dressed up as a random renegade, to get Lloyd and the others from the Tower of Salvation. You can't recognise him at all with that helmet on!))

* * *

Chapter nine. 

An hour later, Yuan was sitting in his office, waiting for Botta to return. His wound was still stinging painfully, but it was bandaged tightly, and should heal soon. He was just passing the time reading a cooking magazine, when the door opened and Botta marched in, followed by his Renegade lackeys, who were carrying the chosen's group.

"Whoah, what happened?" Yuan asked.

"They were all knocked out, sir." Botta replied, shrugging.

"So you decided to bring them here?"

"Well… We couldn't just leave them there to be killed. And they might come in handy."

"You're too soft for your own good. Very well, dump them in my room until they wake up." Yuan sighed. The Renegades groaned and started dragging the group through the door. "Argh! What is that?" Yuan pointed at the chosen, who was being pulled along with a rope.

"She completed the angel transformation. Luckily, we were able to take her with us before they could download Martel into her body." Botta explained. The chosen looked like some kind of freaky, red eyed balloon, floating a few inches above the ground. The Renegades quickly untied her and shoved her into the room too, before closing the door.

"So anyway sir, it might be a while before they wake up." Botta sat down, and turned to his leader. "I couldn't help but wonder if Kratos recognised you when he stabbed you."

"Nope. But it was a close call. See, when we started our journey four-thousand years ago, Kratos wore glasses. He got rid of them after a month or two, because me and Mithos kept making fun of him. Totally fair, because he looked like a dork." Yuan sniggered at the thought. "So then he got contact lenses. But lately, he sometimes neglects to wear them. He says he can see just fine without them. Which is a big fat lie, because without them, he couldn't tell a handbag from a llama." Yuan nodded.

"That's a strange analogy…" Botta remarked.

"But based on a true story." Yuan smiled, remembering times long gone. "So anyway, what happened in the tower of salvation?"

"By the time we got there, the chosen had completed her prayers, Kratos had betrayed and battled the group, and Yggdrasill had appeared. Just when he was about to finish Lloyd off, we ran in, swiped the gang from under their noses, and ran out again." Botta explained. "Which reminds me, I took a picture." Botta pulled a picture out of his pocket, and held it up. It showed Yggdrasill, his face strained with anger, and his left eye sort of twitching. Kratos was in the background, angsting over the fact that he nearly killed his own son. Yuan laughed heartily.

"This one is going on my website!" he grinned.

* * *

"Excuse me sir, but it seems the group has woken up." said one of the Renegades. 

"Oh, sure, let them in." Yuan and Botta got to their feet, and tried to look cool, as the Renegade entered the bedroom and returned a few seconds later with the chosen and her friends.

"It's you!" Lloyd gasped. "You're the leader of the Renegades?"

"Well, duh. That would seem obvious."

"Then let's get to the point. Are the Desians and Cruxis really the same organisation?" The woman with short white hair asked.

"Yup."

"And they're controlled by this Yggdrasill fellow?"

"Indeed they are. You're smarter than you look."

"Why, thank you. I- Hey!"

"Yggdrasill controls everything behind the scenes. Plus, he was the one who split Sylvarant and Tethe'alla into two different worlds."

"That's preposterous! No one would have that kind of power!" Called a small boy with white hair.

"If that's what you want to believe, then this conversation is over." Yuan said shortly, and he turned his back on the group.

"No! Don't listen to Genis! He's a moron! We want more information!" Lloyd called.

"Well, alright then." Yuan grinned and turned around again. "The angels from Cruxis, they're frauds. They're just half-elves who use a special exsphere." he said nodding.

"So is Kratos a half-elf too?" Lloyd asked.

"Ahahahah! I said it before and I'll say it again. You've got a great sense of humour, kid." Yuan laughed. "Anyway, it's true that Yggdrasill created this twisted cycle of the chosens, just so he can revive Martel. Us Renegades are trying to stop that from happening by killing the chosens."

"We won't let you touch Colette!" Lloyd immediately shouted, jumping in front of the girl. Yuan rolled his eyes.

* * *

((Aaaand... Stop. The conversation was a bit too long to put in one chapter. I had to pause it somewhere...)) 

((Will Yuan kill Colette? Find out next chapter!))


	10. Chapter ten

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Aaaand, it continues!

**Katandshadow: **Actually, I kinda would've liked it if Yuan had killed Colette. Sadly, it was not meant to be so.

**Luna-starr:** Thanks for reviewing! I hope you'll keep reading.

**Sesshy is sexii:** Not only did Botta graduate as a therapist, his hobby is taking artistic pictures. Ofcourse, there is a difference between photographing a river, and photographing Kratos... But still. He knows his way with a camera.

**Silver Latias:** Search for Kittieplushie's Livejournal. There's a public post on there with lots of manga scans. And what kind of past experiences were they? Well, let's just say the Kharlan war was a crazy time. Kids experimented a lot.))

* * *

Chapter ten. 

"Moron. We wouldn't dare attack the chosen the way she is now. Her only goal is to defend herself until she can become Martel's vessel." Yuan said shortly. "I'll demonstrate. Hey, number seventy-eight!"

"Yes, sir?" asked one of the Renegades.

"Grab the chosen's arm." Yuan commanded.

"But, sir, you just said-"

"Do it!"

The Renegade gulped, and approached Colette. He slowly reached out and grabbed her wrist. A fraction of a second later, he was flying through the air and slammed into the wall on the other side of the room.

"Wow! That was _so_ cool!" Lloyd and his friends agreed.

"See? But anyway, it doesn't matter. We no longer have any need for the chosen."

"You don't?"

"No. What we want is you, Lloyd Irving!" Yuan snapped his fingers, and the Renegades formed a tight circle around the group, so they couldn't escape.

"What? But, why me?" Lloyd called out.

"Mind yer own business!" Yuan shouted.

"This _is_ my own business!"

"Oh yeah. Well, whatever." Yuan approached the group, but suddenly Lloyd did the most evil thing imaginable. He kicked Yuan, right in the gut.

"Holy hell!" Yuan fell to his knees in pain.

"Wow Lloyd, you've got a good kick!" Sheena, the ninja girl admitted.

"It's not the stupid boy's kick! It's lord Yuan's wound from Hima!" Botta exclaimed.

"Hima? Whoah! You're the guy that tried to assassinate Kratos!" Lloyd gasped.

"Dammit Kratos, how many times must you get in my way?" Yuan gasped.

"This is our chance! Run!" The group quickly started shoving Renegades out of the way as they ran through the door. Sheena swiftly turned around and summoned a strange fox creature, before making her escape too. Everyone stared at it.

"Awwww, it's adorable!" exclaimed Renegade number eight-hundred and fifty-nine. Suddenly, the fox started growling evilly, and jumped into Yuan's face.

"Help! Get it off! Get it off!" Yuan shrieked, falling over.

"I've got it sir!" Botta pulled a baseball bat out of nowhere, and prepared to take a swipe at the creature. But suddenly, it disappeared in a puff of smoke, and Yuan got whacked in the face with the bat instead.

"You're fired!" he managed to shout, before fainting.

* * *

Once again, Yuan slowly awoke, feeling slightly dazed. His head was hurting spectacularly. He opened his eyes and saw a large group of Renegades crowded around his bed again. Only this time, they looked more nervous than worried. 

"I assume you've got some bad news for me?" Yuan asked, sitting up.

"Well, sir… It seems that the chosen's group got away." Botta said slowly.

"Got away?"

"Yeah. They… escaped the base."

"Why didn't you use the rheairds to find them again?"

"Heh. Funny story." Botta laughed nervously. Yuan frowned. "See, they went into the hangar and… used the rheairds to flee to Tethe'alla."

"They what? But… how could they just fly away with them? Those things are secured heavily!" Yuan exclaimed.

"It would appear… I left the keys in the ignition." Botta replied quietly, looking at the floor.

"So… What you're saying is that the chosen and her little friends stole our only rheairds, and are now wandering around in Tethe'alla?" Yuan narrowed his eyes. The Renegades quickly edged towards the door.

"Y-yes sir."

"I'm not going to get mad… I'm not going to get mad…" Yuan chanted, rubbing his temples.

"S-so I'll just… try and locate them now, sir?" Botta asked.

"No, ofcourse not! Let them have the rheairds! Hey, why not give them our entire base to go with it?" Yuan asked.

"Sir, I don't think we should-"

"I was being sarcastic!" Yuan shouted.

"Oh! Right! Sorry! Don't worry sir, I'll track those rheairds down again!" Botta saluted and hurried out the door, followed by the Renegades. Meanwhile, Yuan opened his cabinet drawer and pulled out a bottle of aspirins.

* * *

((Poor, poor Yuan... -_shakes head_-)) 


	11. Chapter eleven

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Nyaaa... Filler chapter!

**Dragonwings144**: Nah, Yuan's not mean to Botta. He's just a bit irritated that things don't seem to be working out too well.

**Katandshadow:** Aspirins are pretty bad for the stomach actually. If you eat them too much, they can make a hole in your stomach... Ewwww...

**Silver Latias:** When one of our cars was stolen, my mom left the keys in the ignition too. In fact, she even kept the engine running. But it was on our driveway, and she only went inside for a minute to get her keys... See how quickly it happens?

**Sesshy is sexii:** Corrine is awfully cute, aint he? I'd fawn over him. (Or her... not sure what Corrine is...)

* * *

Chapter eleven. 

It didn't take the Renegades that long to track down the rheairds, because the machines had been emitting a distress signal. Apparently, they had crashed into a mountain near Meltokio.

"This is perfect! All we have to do is go there, and wait for those vandals to return. Then they'll walk right into my trap!" Yuan grinned.

"Oooh, let me come with you sir!" Botta urged.

"No. You're still on toilet duty."

"This punishment is cruel and inhuman!" Botta whined.

"Leaving the keys in the ignition is cruel and inhuman too." Yuan retorted. "Number fifty-seven, number three-hundred and nine, you're coming with me." He headed out the door, followed by two Renegades. Botta grumbled moodily, and went back to scrubbing the toilets.

* * *

"They're in an even worse state than I thought!" Yuan exclaimed, as they arrived at mount Fooji. He inspected the damage done to the rheairds, and let out a low whine. "It's gonna cost us a fortune to get all this repaired." 

"Sir, we should set the trap up!" said Renegade number fifty-seven.

"Right." Yuan backed away from the rheairds and turned his attention to setting up a devious device.

"Errr, sir? What-"

"What does it do? How good of you to ask." Yuan grinned. "The minute those punks come back here to retrieve the rheairds, they'll have to pass through here. When they do, I will pull this rope, so that the stick holding up the box will disappear, and the box will fall down, trapping the unsuspecting vandals!"

"But sir… It's a shoebox." Renegade number three-hundred and nine pointed out.

"Your point?"

"A shoebox isn't big enough to trap five people. In fact, for all we know the group could have grown in numbers." Renegade number three-hundred and nine raised an eyebrow.

"Not to mention the fact that there's no way they can pass under a shoebox. They'll just trample it." Renegade number fifty-seven added.

"Oh, right. I knew that." Yuan grabbed the box and threw it off the mountain. "I was… just testing you. Yeah."

"Uhm… May I suggest we use a standard Desian trap?" Number fifty-seven asked.

"How do those work?"

"Well, you just place a box on the ground, and it will set up an almost invisible field. The minute the group walks through that field, you press a button on a remote control, and the field will change into a solid barrier."

"What an excellent idea! Good thing I thought of it!" Yuan grinned.

* * *

Five hours later, Yuan and the Renegades were hiding behind a rock, still waiting for the group to arrive. Yuan had dozed off slightly. 

"What's taking them so long?" Number fifty-seven asked.

"Maybe they took a detour through Sybak." Number three-hundred and nine speculated.

"Don't be silly. Why would they do that?" Number fifty-seven rolled his eyes.

"Shhh, I hear something." Both Renegades listened intently, as the sound of footsteps and arguing echoed off the mountain.

"Look, I really didn't mean to give Genis a push. He was in my way, that's all." Said a male voice. "It was an accident."

"_In your way? Accident?_ You shoved me off the path, to get to Sheena!" Genis replied angrily.

"Hey, I managed to grab you before you fell off the mountain, didn't I?"

"You grabbed me by my hair…"

"Guys, stop arguing. We're here." Raine cut in.

"Hey, Zelos, how were you planning on moving those things?" Lloyd asked.

"Oh, simple. Come over here for a second." The male, also known as Zelos, replied.

"Probability of this being a trap, sixty-five percent." An emotionless girl's voice pointed out.

"Oh, don't be silly Presea!" Zelos laughed. "Come on, follow me."

The group came into view, and stepped right into the trap's field.

"Sir! Push the button!" number fifty-seven hissed.

"That monkey… stole my purse." Yuan snored. Number fifty-seven rolled his eyes, snatched the remote control from Yuan's hands, and pushed the button himself. Lloyd and his friends gasped in surprise as they got caught in a barrier. Colette simply floated next to it, in an almost mocking way. Meanwhile, number three-hundred and nine poked Yuan between the ribs, causing him to wake up immediately.

* * *

((Okay, so this was sorta filler... So sue me. It was funny, right? ... Right?)) 

((Have you noticed yet how I give all the Renegades a number?))


	12. Chapter twelve

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Hmm... Kingdom hearts is such a good game... Still doesn't beat ToS though.

**DragonWings144**: Oh, so Corrine really is male? I wasn't quite sure.

**Katandshadow**: No man is complete without his purse!

**Silver Latias**: Because for some reason, Yuan remembers the numbers much easier than names... Oh! Maybe they have some sort of number tag!

**Yuan-sama**: Isn't it common knowledge Yuan likes mint in his cocoa? lol!

**Sesshy is sexii**: Yay for Zelos! Even though it's not really ZelosxLloyd yet...))

* * *

Chapter twelve. 

"You walked right into my trap, you fools!" Yuan smirked, approaching the barrier.

"Hahah, he called Zelos a fool!" Genis called.

"Zelos… is an idiot." Presea added.

"… I called you all fools." Yuan said, frowning. "Well, whatever. I've got you now. You thought you could get away with stealing my expensive equipment?" he snapped his fingers and the two renegades quickly grabbed the rheairds and began their long trek back to the base. "I'll make you pay."

"Oh, do you take cheques?" Zelos took a notebook out of his pocket.

"… It was a figure of speech. But if you want to give me monetary compensation too, go right ahead."

"I'm not giving you anything if you're gonna kill us anyway." Zelos put the notebook away again.

"Is it just me, or do you people get stupider every time we meet?" Yuan asked Lloyd.

"It's because our group keeps getting bigger too." Lloyd shrugged.

"I see. Well, it doesn't matter."

"Oh my, lord Yuan! What are you doing here?" asked a voice behind him.

"I'm not suspicious!" Yuan shouted automatically, before whipping round. "Ah. Pronyma… I could ask you the same thing. I thought the Desians were supposed to be in Sylvarant, burning down villages and kidnapping people with stupid names…"

"I'm here on lord Yggdrasill's _personal_ orders. He asked me to retrieve the chosen." Pronyma said, with her usual tone of 'I'm-much-better-than-you'

"Oh sure, go right ahead. But in return, I'll be taking Lloyd. I trust you have no objections?"

"My, lord Yuan! I didn't know you were into young boys!" Pronyma exclaimed, smirking.

"W-what? No! EW! I uh… want his exsphere for my research." Yuan lied.

"His _'exsphere'_… Suuuure…"

"Watch your mouth Pronyma! I'm still your superior!" Yuan barked. "Just take the chosen and go!"

"Alright, alright." Pronyma floated over to Colette, and got ready to grab her, but stopped halfway. "Ew! What is this hideous thing surrounding the Cruxis crystal? It's disgusting!"

"H-Hey!" Lloyd cut in.

"It looks like it was made by a five year old! A blind and handicapped five year old!" Pronyma exclaimed.

"Shut up! That keycrest is my finest work!" Lloyd shouted.

"Oh, so it was made by you, was it? Well, that explains a lot." Pronyma grinned at Lloyd's expression, which was quite indescribable. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to get rid of this thing. Too bad." Pronyma reached out and placed her hand on the keycrest, ready to pull it off. But suddenly, Colette's eyes turned from blood red to light blue again.

"Hey, don't touch it! It may be ugly, but Lloyd gave it to me!" she called out.

"W-what?" Pronyma backed away in surprise.

"No way a flimsy keycrest like that could contain the Cruxis crystal!" Yuan exclaimed.

"It doesn't matter. I'll just gag her to block out the annoying voice, and present her to lord Yggdrasill anyway." Pronyma shrugged, and grabbed Colette's arm.

"Don't touch me, you hag!" Colette threw Pronyma off again, and pulled out her weapons. While doing this, she fell backwards, and landed on the trap. It made a loud whirring sound, as the barrier surrounding Lloyd and the others disappeared.

"Oh no! I broke it!" Colette exclaimed, crawling off it again.

"Hah, that's our Colette!" Genis laughed.

"Now, let's get that hag!" Lloyd drew his swords.

"Nobody calls me a hag and gets away with it!" Pronyma charged towards the group. However, she was grossly outnumbered, and beaten to a pulp within minutes.

* * *

"Gah! It hurts! Help me, lord Yuan!" Pronyma crawled towards Yuan, who quickly hopped back. "You bastard! You're supposed to cure me!" 

"I'm not the one who knows First aid. That's Kratos." Yuan replied, frowning.

"Oh. Darnit." Pronyma crawled to her feet again, and dusted herself off.

"You're next, Yuan!" Lloyd growled.

"Uh… Oh boy, would you look at the time!" Yuan backed away even more, as Lloyd charged towards him. But suddenly, a certain auburn-haired man appeared between them, and blocked Lloyd's sword.

"Kratos!" Yuan exclaimed, and his eyes started to sparkle again. "Have you come here to save me?"

"Actually, I came here to tell you you were summoned by Yggdrasill."

"Oh." Yuan's face fell.

"He didn't look too pleased. What did you do this time?" Kratos inquired.

"It could be anything…" Yuan said slowly, thinking back at all the nasty stunts he pulled in the last week. Kratos rolled his eyes. "So… I'll be going then. All alone…"

"…"

"Right." Yuan extended his sparkly, lavender wings. "Lloyd, next time we meet, you're mine." He said with narrowed eyes. Then he noticed he was being stared at. "Not in _that_ way! Geez! What's with you people?" Yuan turned around and flew off.

* * *

((And when Yuan said 'people with stupid names', he was referring to Chocolat! Anyway, I rather liked this chapter. What did you think?)) 


	13. Chapter thirteen

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: How's the weather in other countries? Cause it sucks here in The Netherlands... -_freezing_-

**Katandshadow:** Suspicious in what way? That Yuan says odd things to Lloyd, or that he almost runs off with Kratos?

**Silver Latias:** Hahah, yeah! Marble! Seriously, who names a character Marble? And her daughter Cocoa! It's like... The family of stupid names!

**Lady Rina:** Zelos remains the eternal fool! Because he is, in fact, an idiot! -_gasp!_-

**Sesshy is sexii:** Yuan probably gets funnier every time because I'm adapting to having him as main character. In the Idiot Seraphim series, it was mostly Zelos.

**Nife:** Yup, stupider is a word. I think... -_having second thoughts_-

**DragonWings144:** LOL! Maybe he's saying those things to Lloyd because, subconciously, he can recognise Kratos in Lloyd?

**Off:** LloydxYuan? Ewww... Okay, it could cause some funny situations... But seeing them together? Ewwww...))

* * *

Chapter thirteen. 

A few hours later, Yuan stepped into Yggdrasill's throne room.

"You summoned me?" he asked coldly.

"Ah Yuan. Yes, indeed I did." Yggdrasill folded his hands together and peered at Yuan intently. "I was wondering how your mission was going."

"My… mission?"

"Yes. The mission you yourself volunteered for."

"…"

"You were supposed to find out the identity of the leader of those Renegades, and where their base is."

"Oooooh! _That_ mission!" Yuan laughed nervously. "We're hot on their trail. But that leader always seems to outsmart us at the last second. He must be a very clever and handsome guy."

"…" Yggdrasill blinked.

"So… no, I haven't completed the mission yet." Yuan shrugged.

"Lazy bum."

"You just called me here to insult me? Or am I free to go now?"

"Actually, there is one other matter." Yggdrasill said, and his voice sounded a bit angry.

"Oh?"

"You see, for some reason, when I took a shower this morning, my shampoo was mixed with honey. It wasn't a very pleasant experience to try and get that out of my hair…"

Yuan didn't really try to hide his smile, and Yggdrasill noticed that.

"You wouldn't have had anything to do with that, would you?"

"No, not at all." Yuan replied, still grinning.

"One of these days, I'll catch you playing one of your pranks. Mark my words!"

"Sure… Well, just be careful you buy the right shampoo first. Otherwise, I'd be able to smell you coming. You're such a _sweet_ guy." Yuan laughed, and he walked out the door again, leaving Yggdrasill mumbling something incoherent.

* * *

Yuan didn't feel comfortable, walking through the hallways of Vinheim. It was such a dark, gloomy place. He turned a corner and saw a group of angels. They stopped in the middle of their conversation, and turned to stare at him. 

"Stop that! I'm not suspicious!" Yuan shouted at them, but they continued to leer as he passed. He quickly turned another corner, severely creeped out. Why did they always have to stare like that? He continued walking down a long corridor, his footsteps echoing off the walls. Suddenly, he heard a rushing sound behind him. Trying to ignore it, he quickly increased his pace. But then, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"It wasn't me!" He shouted wildly, freezing in his tracks.

"What wasn't you?" asked a voice, and Yuan turned to stare at Kratos.

"Oh, hi Kratos. I thought you were Yggdrasill or something." Yuan sighed.

"So why did he summon you?"

"Meh, something about honey in his shampoo bottle. Very ingenious, though I can't really remember when I did that." Yuan thought back to all the tricks he'd played this past week, once again.

"Actually, that was me." Kratos said, grinning widely.

"It was? Wow! I have taught you well, my young pupil." Yuan chuckled.

"So I was wondering… When are we going to have lunch?"

"What?"

"You said we should have lunch together. You didn't forget, did you?" Kratos asked, and for some reason Yuan was reminded of a puppy dog.

"I…"

"Remember? In Luin? When we-"

"I remember, I remember!" he said quickly.

"Good. Well, since it's lunchtime now, we'll just go to your house." Kratos decided.

"Sure- I mean no!"

"Why?"

"Err…." Yuan knew he couldn't possibly invite Kratos to his house, since the renegade base was his house. "It's being redecorated!" he lied.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah! New floors, new wallpaper, everything."

"So where are you staying?"

"… Triet's inn."

"Why didn't you say so sooner? You can stay at my place!" Kratos exclaimed. Yuan felt himself going red.

"I… Errr…"

"I won't take no for an answer! Just go grab your stuff at the inn, and I'll see at my house in a few hours." And with that, Kratos strode off, leaving Yuan quite confused.

* * *

((Reference to Idiot seraphim! Hahah, gotta love those random angels...)) 

((Next chapter: Kratos's house! -_dun dun duuuun_-))


	14. Chapter fourteen

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Wow, lots of reviews!

**Nife:** Maaaybe... Okay, not really. There is something in next chapter, that is sorta like fluff... Kinda... Okay, not really. But it's still cute.

**Off:** Nah, I don't live in Amsterdam. I live in the most South part of the Netherlands. Near Belgium, and Germany too. And nah, you're not a huge pervert.

**KivaEmber:** Wow, I wasn't the only one who thought that!

**Mandi Minamoto:** Lol! Ofcourse Kratos has a house! You didn't think he lives in a cartboard box, did you?

**Katandshadow:** Well, It's not gonna pwn that much... It had a lot more potential, now that I look at it.

**KrAtOs LuVeR: **He doesn't suddenly get gay! It was inside him all along... Lurking... In fact, he even had a crush on Yuan during the Kharlan war stuff. He just never said anything because of Martel. I'm not sure what the deal with Anna is though... Maybe he thought it was time he moved on, and found himself a woman? Heh, whatever.

**Silver Latias: **Oooh, extensive weather report. Very neat. And yeah, the random angels really do annoy. Especially because the hallways are so small. You just can't avoid 'm.

**Kratos Fanatic:** And more is what you shall receive.

**Sesshy is sexii:** OMG! Chibi Yggdrasill with honey in his hair! That would look so adorable!

**Graystripe:** Awwww... You should review more! I like hearing from my fans! -_incredibly huge ego_- Nyeah, I wish I were Kratos. Then I'd get Yuan... -_sigh_-

Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy! Enj... -_gets whacked_-))

* * *

Chapter fourteen. 

Yuan still couldn't quite believe what had happened. When he arrived at the Triet base, Botta immediately asked what took him so long. But Yuan had only replied with "Sleepover at Kratos's place. Call only if it's an emergency, and don't touch my computer!" as he grabbed some things and disappeared again. So now he was standing outside Kratos's house, feeling a bit queasy.

"Yuan! You made it!" Kratos called cheerfully, opening the front door.

"Yes. Yes I did." Yuan replied shortly, entering the hallway and staring around. He hadn't been to Kratos's house for a long time. Even when it was his birthday, the party was held at Vinheim. Yggdrasill offered a couple of times that he should just move into the palace, but Kratos had always refused. Yuan didn't blame him. Vinheim was plain scary. Then again, this place wasn't exactly Happy-hall either. Yuan was astounded by the fact that his friend was quite a slob. Clothes, books and all sorts of other stuff littered the ground, and he could've sworn he saw something with grey fur scurrying away.

"Heh, yeah. I haven't had time to clean up yet." Kratos commented, noticing Yuan's look of horror.

"Uhm… Where can I dump my stuff?" Yuan asked, stubbornly ignoring a strange, greenish thing that was apparently oozing its way into a corner.

"The guest room. Follow me." Kratos walked up the stairs, and Yuan hurried after him, hoping the second floor would be a bit better. It wasn't.

"Nice place you got here." Yuan squeaked, nervously clinging to his belongings .

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?" Kratos grinned. "Here we are." He opened a door, to reveal a nice, cosy bedroom. There was just one problem.

"Uhm… How long has it been since you've last had guests?" Yuan eyes shifted uneasily from the cobwebs in the corner, to the thick layer of dusts that covered the furniture.

"One or two decades…" Kratos replied, laughing weakly.

And so Yuan spent the remainder of the day cleaning the guest room, and the rest of the house while he was at it.

* * *

Kratos was just sitting in the living room, reading a book when Yuan slumped down on the couch across him. The auburn-haired man quickly hid 'Forging an eternal ring for dummies' behind his back. 

"Did you know your kitchen cabinets are empty?" Yuan asked tiredly.

"I normally go out to eat." Kratos replied, shrugging.

"After finding a family of rats housed underneath your stove, I'm not surprised."

"What did you do with them?"

"I released them into the wild." Yuan said, which was partly true. He'd basically kicked them out the door.

"Good." Kratos smiled. "Listen, I'll be gone most of the day tomorrow. I have some business in Sybak and Ozette."

"What kind of business?"

"Errr… running errands for Yggdrasill." Kratos lied. I'll be back around dinnertime."

"That's great. I'll make you some dinner. My way of saying 'thanks for letting me clean your house.'" Yuan grinned wearily.

"But I don't have any food in the house." Kratos reminded him.

"That's okay. I'll just stop by the market. What do you wanna eat?"

"It's fine with me. As long as you don't make anything with-"

"Tomatoes. I know."

"You remembered?"

"Are you kidding? The last time I tried to feed you something with tomatoes, you didn't speak to me for a week." Yuan smirked nostalgically.

"I'm telling you. They just look like normal vegetables, but they're not. In fact, one cannot even be sure if they are vegetables! They could just as well be fruit! They're evil, and planning to take over the world when we least expect it." Kratos insisted.

"Uhuh… I'll be sure to keep an eye out for them."

* * *

((And that's how Yuan found out about Kratos's dislike for tomatoes.)) 

((I'm also pleased to announce that this fic will have over 30 chapters. Cool, huh?))


	15. Chapter fifteen

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: -_slurps soup_- Mmm... Tomato... -_gets glared at by Kratos_-

**Sesshy is sexii:** Yeah, you're right... Kratos really does act like a different person when he's talking to Yuan alone. He's got a split personality!

**Nife:** Quite different from your fics, ain't it?

**KrAtOs LuVeR:** Lots of people ask that very question. See, the point is that when you ask Kratos to cook you something that has tomatoes in it, it won't get more than 2 stars. Or it can't get the complete number of stars. Something like that anyway. And maybe it lowers his affection rate too. But I'm not too sure about that.

**Silver Latias: **Turnips? I don't think I've ever tried to eat one of those...

**Graystripe: **OMG! Yes, I'm sure Kratos _would_ like to see Yuan in a maid outfit. Heheheheh...

**Mandi Minamoto: **Poor Kratos... Living in a box... Not much room for Yuan, is there? They'd have to cuddle up really close... >3

**Katandshadow: **I'm afraid there won't be many 'smexy moves' yet... -_sigh_-

**Off: **Let's also remember that in Idiot Seraphim, Kratos is the only who likes Yuan's cooking!))

* * *

Chapter fifteen. 

Yuan had kept to his promise of cooking Kratos dinner the next day. He'd prepared a rice dish, with all sorts of random things mixed through it. Kratos had to admit that he kinda liked it. Afterwards, the guys had started a friendly game of Symphonia Scrabble. Yuan was frowning at the word Kratos had just spelled out. 'Love'. After some pondering, he used the first letter of that word to spell out 'Blush'.

"Hah, beat that." He grinned. Suddenly, his watch started emitting a strange beeping sound.

"What's that noise?" Kratos asked, staring around.

"My… cellphone." Yuan lied. "Excuse me for a second." He stepped outside and flicked his watch open to reveal a tiny viewing screen. Meanwhile, a miniature antenna extended itself. The screen flickered for a few seconds, and showed Botta's face.

"What's the matter?" Yuan snapped at him.

"Sir, it's the chosen's group. They're headed for the Flanoir base in an extremely slow and annoying boat.

"Flanoir base… That's where we left the rheairds to be repaired!" Yuan exclaimed.

"What do we do now, sir?"

"Ugh… I'll meet you there. We can't let them steal the rheairds a second time."

"But sir, I'm at Triet base. How am I supposed to get to Flanoir?" Botta asked.

"I give you permission to use the catapult"

"No! Sir! Not the catapult!"

"Don't be such a baby. Yuan out." Yuan flicked the watch shut again, and walked back inside Kratos's house.

"Who was that?" the auburn-haired man asked.

"Errr… the contractor. He finished my house, and now I have to go back and… sign some papers. Yeah."

"Oh. I see." Kratos said, staring at the floor.

"We'll finish our game of Scrabble some other time, okay?" Yuan replied, misinterpreting the human's look of disappointment.

* * *

"Hey, has anyone seen Botta?" Yuan asked a group of renegades, as he wandered around Flanoir base. 

"I believe lord Botta is in Triet base, sir." Renegade number three-hundred and nine replied, giving him a strange look.

"What the-" Yuan quickly stormed off to the hangar, and tried to contact Sylvarant's base. The viewing screen flicked on to reveal Renegade number seventy-five.

"How may I help you sir?" the renegade asked.

"Where's Botta?" Yuan demanded.

"He's… right here sir."

"What's the status of the catapult?"

"It's fully operational, but lord Botta seems to be having some difficulties with… using it." The renegade stepped aside, so that Yuan could see his faithful side-kick shivering in a corner.

"Botta! I told you to meet me here!" Yuan barked at him. Botta turned and stared at him.

"But sir… The catapult! I have some bad memories with that thing."

"Does it look like I care? If there's going to be a battle, I'll need your help over here. Get your butt on that catapult, or I'll triple your toilet duty!" Yuan growled. Botta groaned loudly, and walked over to an enormous catapult.

"Sir, are you sure-"

"Get on the damn thing already. I may be a seraph, but even I don't live forever."

Botta groaned again, put on a helmet, and sat down on the catapult o' doom.

"Okay, activate the dimensional portal." Yuan commanded. The renegades did so. "Right. Now, remember Botta, think light, and try not to land on your head."

"W-what?"

"I wish you a safe flight." Yuan grinned evilly. "Fire!"

The renegades at Triet base pushed a shiny red button, and the catapult was launched. Botta was sent flying through the dimensional portal with a loud scream. He arrived on Yuan's side, where he smashed into the wall opposite.

"Still alive there, Botta?" The renegade leader asked, as Botta slowly slid down the wall and fell to the ground.

"Puppy dogs have fuzzy fur…" Botta replied, before fainting.

"A job well done men!" Yuan said to the renegades, before closing down the communication channel again.

* * *

((Eheheheh... Sorry there was no fluff, people. But you have to admit. The catapult was funny!))

((Hooray for Scrabble hints!))


	16. Chapter sixteen

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Better make this quick. I just realised I have homework...

**Nife**: Gomen. No smex for a while.

**KrAtOs LuVeR**: Such is the life of a Renegade sidekick...

**DragonWings144**: I'll show him some love. Don't worry. It'll be after he died though...

**Silver Latias**: I totally forgot about that! For all those who didn't read Silver Latias's review: "A mountain is more manuverable than that thing!". Yup, ain't that the truth. Damn EC.

**Off: **Botta has to die... It's part of the plot... -_sigh_- And yes, Scrabble is awfully "old man".

**Everyone else:** Thanks for the comments! Thank you! I love you all!))

* * *

Chapter sixteen. 

"So what do we do now, sir?" Botta asked, once he'd regained consciousness.

"Simple. Those brats want to steal the rheairds. So all we have to do is wait for them here in the hangar. We'll defeat them right here." Yuan nodded wisely.

"But sir, we're grossly outnumbered. I think the chances of _them_ defeating _us_ are much higher."

"Oh, don't be silly Botta. They're just newbies! I'm a seraph! One of the mightiest beings in existence! I fought in the great Kharlan war! Plus, my hair is totally awesome!" Yuan struck a pose. "And you… Well… You had sidekick training. I think it highly unlikely we'll be beaten by the likes of them!"

"If you say so sir…" Botta replied slowly.

"Any minute now, they're gonna barge through that door, and then we kick their vandalist behinds!" Yuan said. It was followed by a long silence. "Aaaany minute now…"

* * *

Five hours later, Lloyd and his gang finally entered the hangar. 

"Man, there were so many cool treasure chests in here!" Sheena said grinning.

"Yeah, we totally opened them all." Lloyd said happily.

"I can't help but feel guilty…" Raine said slowly, staring at the gald they'd gotten from one of the chests.

"Don't worry Raine. It's not like we did anything wrong… We just kicked some innocent Renegade's asses, wrecked their security system, caused a few explosions and robbed them of their possessions." Lloyd smirked widely.

"Oh, okay."

"Hey, isn't that…" The gang stopped in their tracks as they saw Yuan and Botta, fast asleep on the floor.

"Oh, can I draw moustaches on their faces? Can I?" Genis pleaded.

"I think it might be best to sneak past them…" Raine said disapprovingly. The group got on their toes and tried to silently pass by the sleeping Renegade leader and his sidekick. Suddenly, Zelos tripped and fell on top of Lloyd with a shriek.

"Huh? What!" Yuan immediately awoke and hopped to his feet. He stared at the group, but mostly Zelos and Lloyd.

"This is not what it looks like!" Lloyd called in a muffled voice, hardly visible underneath Zelos's long mop of hair. The idiot chosen quickly scrambled to his feet, blushing heavily. Lloyd stood up too, and let out a quick cough. His face was beet red.

"Uhm… So you've come. Like butterflies to a flame." Yuan said slowly. Everyone stared at him.

"Butterflies?" Regal repeated.

"That can't be right. Let me try that again." Yuan cleared his throat. "So you've come! Like gerbils to a library!"

"… What?" Everyone stared at him even more. The Renegade leader frowned in thought.

"Like clowns to a soup kitchen! No… Like jellybeans to a videogame! … Like Barbiedolls to a convention!"

"I like Barbiedolls!" Zelos said, grinning.

"Like… pirates to a prison!"

"I resent that!" Lloyd called, switching from his 'Arrrgh, me hearties!' outfit to his default outfit.

"Like… Daffodils to a… Oh nevermind!" Yuan shouted out. "So you've come!"

"Do you ever say anything original?" Lloyd asked in an annoyed voice.

"Yeah, that line is seriously clichéd!" Zelos added.

"I see your impudence hasn't changed." Yuan said with narrowed eyes.

"Im…pu…dence…" Lloyd repeated, going slightly cross-eyed. Raine whacked him.

"But your vandalism ends here! Prepare to die!" the Renegade leader continued, pointing at Lloyd and the gang threateningly.

"Bring it on!" Lloyd replied, unsheathing his sword. There was a long silence.

"Botta, wake up you moron!" Yuan nudged his sidekick, who was still fast asleep on the floor, with his foot.

"Just five more minutes, mommy." Botta rolled over on his side, drooling slightly.

"Fool! It's battle time! Get up, or you'll get even more toilet duty!" Yuan growled. Botta hopped to his feet, and pulled out his sword. Yuan took off his cloak, and made his big double-saber appear out of nowhere. "I'll show you the difference in our strengths!"

* * *

((Next chapter: The battle!)) 


	17. Chapter seventeen

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Heeheeh.

**Dragonwings**: I'll show him love! Atleast, I'll try to...

**Silver latias**: Lloyd's pirate outfit is part of a running joke. I'll be getting back on it a few times.

**Graystripe**: We all love stalking Yuan!

**Katandshadow**: Yeah, I was wondering where you'd run off to. I'll be expecting the second chapter of the collab soon! Hehehehe...

**Sesshy is sexii**: Foreshadowing that Zelos is gay? Yeah, that's everywhere.

**Everyone else**: Thanks for the reviews! I love you all! Have some cookies! -_hands out cookies_- ))

* * *

Chapter seventeen. 

And so, the battle started. For some reason, only Lloyd and three of his friends fought, while the others watched from the side. A lot of spells were sent back and forth, and sword slashes were narrowly avoided.

"Sir, we have to try and take them out one at a time!" Botta said, after a few minutes.

"Alright. Combo attack number fifty-two on that chosen guy!" Yuan instructed.

"Fifty-two A or fifty-two B?"

"This looks like a clear case of Fifty-two A" Yuan said, holding off Lloyd's attacks by spinning his double-saber rapidly, as he glanced at Zelos.

"Okay sir!" Botta made his way to the other side of the battle field. Zelos and Sheena stared at him in confusion.

"Oooh, look at me! I'm spellcasting!" Yuan called, and their attention snapped to the Renegade leader again.

"Get him while his defence is down!" Sheena roared, and they all jumped at him. Suddenly, Yuan stopped casting his spell and went into defence mode to block the attacks coming from all three directions. Raine was standing in a corner, casting a useless healing spell on herself. Botta quickly got on his hands and knees behind Zelos.

"Now, sir!" he called. Yuan laughed insanely, as he suddenly gave the chosen a hard shove in his chest. Zelos stumbled backwards, and fell over Botta. He landed on his back, hard.

Everyone froze, as Zelos slowly sat up and started crying.

"You always have to take everything too far!" he wailed. The fight ceased as everyone rushed over to him.

"Don't cry!" Raine called out desperately.

"Meanie Yuan didn't mean it!" Sheena said in a voice one would use when talking to a toddler.

"Yes he diiiid!"

"Zelos, calm down!" Lloyd sat down next to him, and tried to get him to be quiet.

"Now look what you did!" Sheena growled, turning to Yuan. "It'll take hours to get him to stop crying now!"

"I'm sorry! I got carried away! Didn't I Botta?" Yuan looked over at his sidekick, who nodded. "See?"

"Come down here and say that to my face, you… people pusher you!" Zelos wailed. Yuan sighed and got down on his knees in front of Zelos.

"I'm sorry." He said solemnly.

"Sucker!" Zelos called, grabbing Yuan by the hair.

"Noooooooo! My awesome, lush blue hair! You tricked me!" Yuan shrieked.

"Get him guys!" Zelos smirked in a nasty way, not letting go of the leader's hair.

"I shall finish this… With a Demon fang attack!" Lloyd pointed his sword at Yuan.

"Ah! Now, let's not be hasty…" Yuan said nervously, tugging at his hair.

"Ready…" Lloyd prepared for the attack. "Demon fang!"

Just as the attack was fired, everything went into slow motion. Botta came diving in front of Yuan from the side, ready to block the attack.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" the sidekick shouted in his low, slow-motion voice.

"Whaaaaaa?" Lloyd stared, dumbstruck, as Botta got hit by the Demon fang, and was sent flying backwards, into Yuan.

"Myyyyyy spleeeeeeeeeeeen!" Yuan screamed slowly, as Zelos had already released his hair. Both the Renegade leader and his sidekick slowly smashed into a wall, and there was a loud crash. Then, the slow-motion moment ended, and the victory tune started to play.

* * *

"We won!" Zelos shouted, hopping around hand in hand with Lloyd. 

"Help! I'm suffocating!" Yuan shouted, being crushed under Botta.

"Gah, sorry sir!" Botta crawled off him again.

"I've been defeated..." Yuan said, coughing weakly. "Everything is going dark… The light… I see it! I'm coming, you bastard!" He reached his hand out to the ceiling, closing his eyes slowly.

"No sir, don't die! You still have to finish your scrabble game with Kratos!" Botta called.

"Oh yeah!" Yuan sat up again, his eyes sparkling like they always do when someone mentions Kratos. Everyone stared at him.

"Dramaqueen!" Zelos coughed.

"Lloyd, your exsphere… To think it's really evolved…" the Renegade leader said slowly.

"What? What's my exsphere got to do with anything?" Lloyd frowned.

"I dunno. I felt like I had to say that." Yuan shrugged.

* * *

((Aaaaand... Halt! Nice place to pause the scene. It'll continue next chapter!)) 


	18. Chapter eighteen

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Pssst... If you haven't read my collab with **Katandshadow** yet, do it now! The power of YuanxKratos compells you!

**Katandshadow**: Gomen, no YxK scenes for a while... I think like... 5 chapters. I have to do that stuff with the Remote island human ranch and the ring sidequest first.

**Sesshy is sexii:** Yup. The scrabble makes a return. Scrabble is always fun. Not that I've ever played it... But it seems fun.

**Silver Latias:** No! I couldn't possibly write something as horrible as Yuan's hair getting cut! That's even worse than character deaths!

**Da deltadasher demon:** Mmm... Pasta... -_drool_-))

* * *

Chapter eighteen. 

Suddenly, the ground started shaking immensely.

"It's the apocalypse! We're all going to die!" Regal shouted wildly, dropping to the floor.

"It is… an earthquake." Presea said slowly.

"Oh." Regal crawled to his feet again.

"Quickly everyone! On the rheairds!" Lloyd called, and the gang jumped on top of the expensive dimensional travelling planes.

"Noooo! You thieves! Hoodlums! Youth these days!" Yuan shouted at them. He was ignored, as the gang swiftly shot through the dimensional portal. There was a long silence.

"Sir, I think they stole our rheairds again…" Botta said slowly.

"Thank you for stating the obvious…" Yuan growled.

"That earthquake was very odd and sudden though. Could something important have happened?"

"Possibly. We'll have to investigate the cause of that earthquake immediately." Yuan nodded. Suddenly, the door to the hangar bay opened, and Renegade number ninety-four came running in.

"Excuse me sir, we find this note stuck on a pillar near the door." He said, holding out a small piece of paper. Yuan frowned and accepted it.

"Dearest Renegade leader, I have the strange gut feeling that Lloyd's group might be the weaker side. You guys seem much stronger. I wanna join you! I'll spy for you, and stuff like that. Awesome, huh? Signed, the one and only Zelos." He read aloud.

"The chosen wants to spy for us?" Botta said slowly.

"That doesn't seem suspicious in the least! We shall accept his services!" Yuan grinned.

"What about the rheairds, sir? Should I try to locate those too?" Botta asked.

"No need. Our little friend here can tell us where they are at any time." Yuan stared at the note in his hand.

"… Sir, are you being sarcastic again? Like last time?"

"No, I'm not being sarcastic!" Yuan shouted.

"Okay, okay! Just asking! You never know…" Botta saluted and walked out the door with Renegade number ninety-four.

* * *

A few days later, Yuan was found fast asleep, his head resting on the desk. Botta wondered if it was a good idea to wake him. But he had no choice. 

"Sir?" he whispered.

"Mumblemumble." Yuan was still fast asleep.

"Sir! Wake up." Botta poked him in the ribs.

"Tax income!" Yuan shouted wildly, sitting up at once. Botta was so startled, he jumped back a few feet. "Oh… err…" Yuan quickly peeled off a piece of paper that was stuck to his forehead. "Yes?"

"We uh… discovered the cause of the earthquake sir." Botta saluted.

"Earthquake?"

"Yeah, that earthquake a few days ago."

"…"

"When our rheairds were stolen."

"Oh yeah!"

"Apparently, Lloyd's group has been making pacts with the summon spirits of Tethe'alla, and broke a mana link." Botta explained.

"A mana link… You mean those links between Sylvarant and Tethe'alla, forming a cage around the great seed?" Yuan said, thinking.

"The very same."

"Hmm… This could be used to our advantage. But how?" Yuan pondered. Botta thought deeply too.

"Let's see, when the mana links are gone, there would be nothing binding the great seed, allowing it to germinate. Which is good." Botta reasoned.

"Hmmhmm."

"Ofcourse, in order to get it to germinate, it would need a huge amount of mana."

"Hmmhmm…"

"And Rodyle has been building that mana cannon for quite some time now. It should be completed right about now."

"Still, if you want to fire that damn cannon, you would need some way to feed all that mana into it." Yuan pointed out.

"Indeed." Botta nodded. They then resorted to thinking deeply again. There was a long silence.

"The mana reactors!" they called in unison.

"By modifying all the ranch's mana reactors…" Botta began.

"We can fire mana at the great seed!" Yuan finished.

"Oh, we _so_ rock!" Botta grinned.

"High-five!" Yuan called, and they did so.

* * *

((Awww... Aint that adorable? I think it is!)) 


	19. Chapter nineteen

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Did you know Yuan has a hi-ougi attack in the PS2 version? It's called Tenshou Raizangeki!

**Silver Latias**: Yuan had a lot of paperwork. Only natural he'd have nightmares about tax incomes...

**Master summoner Sheena:** Yup, I shall check it out.

**Sesshy is sexii:** Yes, we should all replay the game! I'm on my fourth playthrough (2nd Japanese)

**Mandi Minamoto:** Ayup, they rock.

**Off:** What would Yuan do without his Botta? ... Well, this is a pretty bad time to ask that.

**Da deltadasher demon: **Would that be a good effect, or a bad effect?

**HealingWind: **Gomen. No YuanxKratos for a while.

Last chapter with Botta, everyone! Enjoy!))

* * *

Chapter nineteen. 

And so Yuan, Botta and a few Renegades were standing outside Palmacosta ranch.

"You're sure Lloyd and his friends will come here?" Botta asked.

"Yup. I'm pretty sure that Neil guy saw us hanging around here. He'll think we were Desians, and tell Lloyd." Yuan nodded.

"Seems a bit farfetched."

"Don't underestimate my master plan!"

"So what do we do when Lloyd comes?" Botta asked.

"We urge them to continue breaking mana links. And we need them to distract Rodyle while you modify the mana reactor."

"How will you get them to do that?"

"They seem to enjoy breaking into human ranches and destroying them, before killing the ranch's owner." Yuan shrugged.

"As long as I don't have to fight Rodyle, it's fine by me." Botta smiled.

"Yes, if you were to face off against Rodyle, the world would certainly be doomed." Yuan shook his head sadly.

"You!" shouted a voice. Yuan, Botta and the renegades whipped around to face Lloyd and his friends. "So you were the Desians!"

"Told you so." Yuan whispered, smirking superiorly.

"What are the Renegades doing here?" Raine asked.

"Waiting for you guys. This ranch is the entrance to Rodyle's remote island human ranch." Botta said simply.

"Oooh! A ranch! Can we break in there? Can we? Can we?" Lloyd hopped up and down.

"Yes yes, in a minute. First, we need to explain some stuff."

"Awwww…"

"You guys have been making pacts with summon spirits from both worlds, correct?" Botta asked. The group nodded. "Good job. Keep it up."

"… Errr… Why?" Sheena asked.

"What's in it for you?" Regal inquired.

"The mana links are protecting the Great seed. We need that protection gone." Yuan said.

"Oh! Yuan! You're here too?" Lloyd asked.

"… I was standing here the entire time…"

"I did not notice."

"Anyway, as you know by now, Martel is tied to the Great seed. If Yggdrasill succeeds in reviving her, the seed will be absorbed inside her. The reverse also holds true. If the protection of the seed is gone, we can get it to germinate and the great Kharlan tree will be born again."

"And then the worlds will be united?" Lloyd asked.

"Err… We're not really sure about that. But I guess so, yeah."

"So you want Martel to be a good little girl and disappear?" Zelos deducted.

"Martel is already dead." Yuan said crudely. "If it wasn't for Derris-Kharlan's mana, she'd have disappeared a long time ago. Stupid Mithos!"

"Mithos?" Everyone exclaimed.

"Oh, did I say Mithos? I meant Yggdrasill! Hahahah, silly me!" Yuan laughed nervously.

"Mmm… Mithos…" Genis made a strange drooling sound. Everyone stared at him.

"Errrr… So anyway. We'll use the Mana cannon to fire mana at the Great seed, forcing it to germinate." Yuan continued.

"The Mana cannon? That thing Rodyle was building?" Presea asked.

"Yup." Yuan nodded.

"We manipulated him into building that thing." Botta added.

"Was that all the explaining? Can we break into the ranch now?" Lloyd asked eagerly.

"Uhhh… Sure." Yuan shrugged.

"Yaaaaay!" Lloyd cheered. "Hold on. Let me just put on my special 'break into an enemy's base' outfit." He said, switching to his 'Arrrgh me hearties' title. There was a long silence.

"Oh, right. You guys have been making an awful habit out of demolishing the ranches after you're done with them. But we really need this one in one piece. So whatever you do, do _not_ start the self-destruct system!" Botta warned them.

"Awwwwwwwww…" Raine sighed in disappointment.

"Well, let's go then." Botta said, and the group was escorted inside by Renegade number forty-three and Renegade number two-hundred and twenty. Botta wanted to go after them, but Yuan stopped him.

"Make sure you succeed okay?" he pressed.

"I will, sir. No worries. I'll modify that mana reactor, or die trying." Botta saluted.

"… No need to be _that_ radical." Yuan frowned slightly. "Well then, good luck." And with that, Yuan took off. Not knowing it would be the last time he would see his trusty sidekick.

* * *

((A/N: Waaaah! Botta! -_sobs_-)) 


	20. Chapter twenty

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N:

**Silver Latias:** Well, we could force a random Renegade into the catapult. But it wouldn't be as much fun... And sorry, no death scene for Botta. It's from Yuan's p.o.v., and Yuan wasn't there, remember?

**Sesshy is sexii:** Actually, I like it when people quote their favorite bits from chapters. It gives me a good understanding of what they liked.

**HealingWind:**Yes, be afraid. Be very afraid.

**Tomato nazi:** Well, Yggy isn't _that_ old...I mean, he's still a child at heart.

**StarGirl270:** Uhm... I _did_ write serious ToS stories. Several, actually. Just check out my profile.

**Everyone else:** Thank you for reviewing! And reading! You're all awesome!))

* * *

Chapter twenty. 

That evening, Yuan was sitting in his office reading a book. He had a strange feeling that something bad had happened, but he couldn't quite decipher it. Then, the door opened and Lloyd's group entered. They didn't look that happy at all.

"Well?" Yuan asked, snapping 'Parry Hotter and the clogged drain' shut to stare at them.

"Uhh…" Lloyd began. He cast a nervous look at his friends. "You see…"

"Botta _did_ succeed in modifying the mana reactor…" Raine cut in.

"Oh, that's excellent news! Where is he?" Yuan asked.

"He's uh…" Lloyd glanced the floor, looking very uncomfortable.

"He died." Regal said shortly.

"He what?…" Yuan blinked.

"He died. Snuffed it. He's lost to Davy Jones's locker. He's having dinner at the Burger king in heaven. His body's part of a permanent outcast." Zelos said nodding. Sheena nudged him in the ribs.

"… You're not kidding, are you?" Yuan asked slowly.

"Nope. He told us to tell you… that he succeeded." Lloyd mumbled.

"I see…" Yuan nodded faintly.

'Must not cry… Must not cry…' he thought.

"What, you're not sad?" Lloyd asked.

'Must not cry…'

"You bastard! Botta totally died for you!" Lloyd shouted.

"Lloyd, hush." Sheena whispered.

"You're heartless! You should be atleast a little bit sad! Freak!"

'Must not…cry…' Yuan bit his bottom lip and looked away.

"Lloyd, shut up!" Raine shouted, whacking Lloyd on the back of the head. "Yuan knew Botta longer than we do, and it's his own choice whether he wants to grieve or not."

"Are you insinuating I don't _want_ to grieve?" Yuan asked.

"Well, no, I mean…" Raine cleared her throat. "Oh yeah, one of our friends borrowed a rheaird from you, so we'll return it now."

"Huh?" Yuan stared at her. "Hey, you're actually returning something?"

"What are you talking about, man? You _gave_ us those other rheairds!" Zelos said.

"_What_? When? All I remember is shouting at you several times for stealing them."

"Yeah, whatever. Point is, we're returning this one now." Zelos crossed his arms.

"Oh, and if you want us to break more mana links, we'll need to be able to cross the border between Sylvarant and Tethe'alla. So we need you to put the dimensional portal system online." Sheena added.

"Tch. Greedy bastards. Fine. Now leave."

"Here ya go." Raine placed the wing pack with the borrowed rheaird on Yuan's desk, before walking out the door with the others. The renegade leader stared at it.

"I never lent a rheaird to anyone… What's going on here?" he mumbled to himself. He opened the wingpack to see it if it was really a rheaird. It seemed authentic. "Custom made for Mithos Yggdrasill." He read on the side. "That's very suspicious… But ohwell. It's mine now!"

* * *

An hour later, Yuan was standing in front of the Sidekick wall of fame, holding Botta's picture. 

/flashback/

Yuan was sitting at a table in a dark corner in Palmacosta's diner, wearing a long cloak with a hood that obscured his face. Suddenly, he was approached by a young man with spiky black hair.

"Are you Yuan?" the man asked.

"Yes. You must be Botta." Yuan replied. "I got the message that you wanted to meet me here. Why?"

"I wanna enlist in the Renegades!" Botta said, sitting down.

"Shhhh, not so loud!" Yuan hissed, looking around to see if anyone had heard. "How do you know about the Renegades?"

"My cousin is number fifty-nine."

"Ah. Okay. So why do _you_ want to join?"

"I want to help make the world a better place, and stop the Desians! Plus, I need a job…" Botta sighed.

"I see… Any specialties?"

"Well… I'm not very good at fighting, but I make a damn good cappuccino."

"Excellent! You can be my right-hand man!" Yuan grinned.

"Wow! Really?"

"Yup. Welcome to the job!" Yuan extended his hand. Botta hesitated for a second, but then shook it.

/end flashback/

"Oh, he really _did_ make a damn good cappuccino!" Yuan muttered sadly, wiping a tear out of the corner of his eye. Then he put Botta's picture up on the wall with all the other fallen sidekicks.

* * *

((Farewell, Botta. You were the coolest sidekick ever. -_sob_-)) 

((Who says Botta was the first sidekick Yuan had? I mean, I'm sure the Renegades have been around for a long time now.))


	21. Chapter twenty one

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: -_eats a biscuit_-

**Master summoner Sheena: **More Botta flashbacks? ... Well, I don't really have anything planned, and I'm nearing the end with the chapters I'm currently writing... But I'll see if I can add something cute in the end. No promises though.

**Mandi Minamoto:** Nah, it's not really the reason why Yuan hired him. It's just that Yuan was currently in the market for a new sidekick, when Botta happened to show up.

**Silver Latias: **I'm figuring they've been around for 1000 years or less. I don't think Yuan would've started the Renegades immediately when Cruxis was formed...

**HealingWind:** You found that scene sad? I didn't really think it was sad at all. The actual death scene is much worse...

Okay, time to start the ring sidequest!))

* * *

Chapter twenty-one. 

Yuan was sitting in his office, sighing heavily. It seemed like everything was going wrong. He still hadn't broken the seal on Origin, killed the chosen or kidnapped Lloyd. All that was left to do was to wait for the Mana links to be broken. Bored out of his mind, he grabbed a pen and started twirling it through his fingers. The only link that had been released since the Remote island ranch incident, was the one between Efreet and Celcius. Sighing again, he stared blankly at the pen rolling back and forth between his fingers. Then, he noticed something that made him drop it in an instant.

'Where's my ring?' he thought, staring at his right hand. It wasn't there. Slowly, he looked at his left hand. It wasn't there either. Jumping to his feet, he started checking his pockets. No ring.

"Oh no! This can't be happening!" he exclaimed, storming into his bedroom. It wasn't on the nightstand either. Soon, he had turned both bases inside out, and even resorted to using a metal detector. The ring was nowhere to be found.

"Noooo! My ring! That damn thing cost me a fortune! I still haven't finished paying it off! I have to find it again!" he whispered to himself. The Renegades gave him a strange look. "Okay, calm down Yuan. Calm down. What's the most logical thing to do here?" he started pacing back and forth, mumbling to himself. "Logically, I'd have to retrace my steps. But where do I start? When was the last time I saw it?" he paused, thinking back. The last time he'd seen the ring was probably when he was preparing to go to Hima, to assassinate Kratos. So that would logically be the first place to look. "To Hima!" he called dramatically. The Renegades stared at him even more.

* * *

Soon, Yuan had arrived in Hima. First, he checked the ledge where he'd waited to ambush Kratos. No ring. Then, he went down and started to check the place where Kratos had stabbed him. Sure, there was an imprint in the ground, which looked like a ring might've landed there. But no ring. "Where could it be?" he wondered aloud. Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice calling him. 

"Yo, Yuan"

His eyes narrowing, he turned to face Lloyd and his friends."What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be making pacts?" he asked.

"We are. We were on our way to make a pact with Sylph, but decided to stop by here." Lloyd shrugged.

"Well, keep going then." Yuan turned to leave.

"Oh, mister Yuan! Wait up!" Colette called.

Sighing, he turned back to her, and crossed his arms impatiently. "What?"

"I just remembered where I'd seen you before!"

"Huh?" Yuan raised an eyebrow.

"Back on mount Fooji, when I regained my soul, I thought you looked familiar. Which was silly, because that was the first time I'd actually met you. But it kept nagging at me when we met again at Palmacosta ranch, and when we came to tell you Botta had succeeded. And just now, I remembered!" Colette bounced up and down.

"Enlighten me…" Yuan said unenthusiastically.

"You're the blue-haired woman I saw kissing Kratos in my dream!" Colette exclaimed grinning.

"Wh-what!" Yuan shouted, as everyone's jaw dropped.

"Back in Luin, I had a dream that I looked outside and saw Kratos kissing a woman with long blue hair! That was you!"

"Preposterous!" Yuan said, turning red. "One, I am obviously not a woman. Two, it's impossible for me to be in a dream of yours when we hadn't met. Three, there is no way I'd be kissing Kratos! On his beautiful, full lips… Running my hands through his hair… tight pants…" Yuan's eyes suddenly glazed over, as he stared blankly in the distance, drooling slightly.

"Uhm… mister Yuan?" Colette waved her hand in front of him.

"Huh? Oh! Uh… So anyway, it wasn't me!" Yuan quickly turned and hurried away.

"What a strange man…" Raine commented.

* * *

((I cannot stop laughing all of a sudden...)) 


	22. Chapter twenty two

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Okay, I'm pretty sure this fic will consist of 37 chapters, and an epilogue. Maybe 38 chapters... Depends how long it'll take to reunite the world.

**Master summoner Sheena:** Yes, but you're forgetting the fact that Colette is a moron. She wouldn't believe her eyes if she saw Kratos kissing someone, therefore it couldn't possibly be anything but a dream.

**Katandshadow**: BottaxYuan is just _wrong_!

**Silver Latias**: Yeah, if you hadn't mentioned it, I wouldn't have thought of it.

**Tomato Nazi**: Lloyd, the three dad wonder! Has a nice ring to it. Heheheheh...

**Dragonwings144**: You'll cut Yuan's hair in the sequel to Runaway? You musn't!

**Everyone else: **Thanks for reviewing! You all rock!))

* * *

Chapter twenty-two. 

After searching some more at the supermarket, and all the other random places he'd been, Yuan arrived at mount Fooji. Still, the ring was nowhere to be found.

"Not here either. Jeez, this is driving me mad." Yuan mumbled, kicking aside some rocks. The rocks fell down the mountain, started a chain reaction, and caused a small avalanche.

"Oops…" Yuan said, staring over the ledge. "Sorry!" he called. That caused another avalanche. He quickly clamped his hand over his mouth and backed away from the danger zone.

"Yuan, what are you doing?" asked a voice. He turned around and came face to face with Lloyd and his friends once again.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Well, we asked you _first_!"

"Oh… Fine. I'm looking for something." Yuan shrugged.

"Cool. We're on our way to make a pact with Shadow." Lloyd grinned.

"What are you looking for?" Genis asked.

"None of your business." Yuan hissed.

"Oooh, temper, temper!" Zelos sang.

"Is it a puppy?" Colette asked.

"… No."

"Oh! Maybe it's a lollypop! Or a CD! Or a Barbie doll… A battery pack, a pillow, a monkey, a baseball bat, a slipper-"

"Colette… Stop." Presea said slowly.

"A cable, a necklace, a three-legged kitchen stove, a post-it note, a bunch of keys, a shopping bag, a karaoke set, little Timmy who fell down the well-"

"Colette, okay! Enough." Raine hissed.

"A hermaphrodite, a jitterbug, a boom box, a comfy chair, a blade of grass, a picturesque photograph, Kratos's underwear…"

"Actually, that would be kinda cool…" Yuan said, grinning.

"A banana, a pebble, a rose, a bottle of shampoo, a purple backpack, a pencil, a cute little beaver, a-"

"Colette, shut up!" everyone roared.

"Oh! I've got it! It's a four-leaf clover!" Colette exclaimed.

"It's a ring! Okay! Happy now? I lost my ring! Are you proud of yourselves, that you managed to weasel that information out of me?" Yuan shouted.

"Actually, yes." Lloyd grinned.

"… I hate you." Yuan said shortly, before leaving.

* * *

The next place to search was Vinheim. Obviously, the angels didn't make it any easier. They kept staring at Yuan as he crawled over the floor to try and find his ring. 

"Yuan, what the hell are you doing?" Yggdrasill asked, as Yuan entered his throne room, looking around wildly.

"Uh… Nothing suspicious! Continue with what you were doing. Don't mind me." Yuan took some binoculars out of his pocket and scanned the ground with them.

"How can I not mind you if you're wandering around my room, searching the floor?" Yggdrasill exclaimed. "Is this another one of your stupid jokes? Or did you perhaps… lose something?"

"I... Uh…" Yuan hid the binoculars behind his back again, and gulped nervously. If Yggdrasill found out he'd lost the engagement ring to his sister, he might not leave the castle alive. "No, ofcourse not! I haven't lost anything! Certainly not a ring!" he exclaimed quickly. There was a long silence. "Doh!"

"I see… You wouldn't be lying to me, would you?" Yggdrasill asked suspiciously.

"N-no! I wouldn't dare."

"Then, let me see your ring."

"What?"

"The engagement ring. You know I always loved the way it sparkled. Let's see it." Yggdrasill demanded, smirking.

"C-certainly." Yuan held up his right hand. Yggdrasill narrowed his eyes.

"Isn't that just a piece of tinfoil, wrapped around your finger?"

"Noooo… What gave you that idea?" a long silence followed. "Oh gee, I think I hear Kratos calling. See you!" Yuan quickly ran out the door. Obviously the ring wasn't there either. But if he continued to retrace his steps, he knew which location was next. Kratos's house.

* * *

((A/N: The ring sidequest is suddenly a whole lot more fun, aint it? Heheheheh...)) 


	23. Chapter twenty three

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: People seem to have high expectations of this chapter. I'm not sure if I can live up to them...

**To everyone who reviewed**: Yaaay! You rock! Yuan shall perform a magic trick for you! Go on, Yuan.

Yuan: ... No.

... And there you have it! Isn't he amazing? -_applauds_-))

* * *

Chapter twenty-three. 

It was the dead of the night, as Yuan prowled around Kratos's house. All he had to was sneak into the house, look for the ring, and sneak out again. The hardest part was getting inside, as all the doors and windows were locked. He was strongly reminded of the times he had to break into the inns. Then it hit him. He could just teleport in there!

'I'm _such_ an idiot!' he thought, slapping his forehead with the palm of his hand. Then he quickly teleported himself into Kratos's living room. Peering around, he saw that there was no one there. He was also shocked to find it was already incredibly filthy.

'After all the trouble I went through to clean this place up!' he thought, clenching his fists. 'Well, better get this over with.' Yuan began digging though the mountains of socks, books and other random things. Still, there was no sign of the ring. This way, it'd take him hours just to get through the living room.

"Deja-vu." Said a voice suddenly. Yuan jumped and turned to the door to find Kratos frowning at him. "You really seem to have a thing for prowling around people's rooms in the middle of the night. Don't tell me you _missed_ me again." Kratos smirked.

"I... Uh…" Yuan cleared his throat nervously. "I have a perfectly good explanation for this."

"Let's hear it."

"… I…" Completely at loss for words, Yuan glanced around the room. No obvious exits, no decent excuse… The only thing left to do was to tell the truth. "I'm looking for my ring. Happy now?"

"Your engagement ring?"

"No! My pink flower power ring!" Yuan said sarcastically. Kratos raised an eyebrow in response. "I lost it, and now I'm retracing my steps! The damn thing cost me a fortune, and if I die and go to the realm of the dead without it, and meet Martel there, she'll rip me into tiny little pieces."

"Why didn't you just ask? I could've helped you look, and you wouldn't have had to break into people's houses."

"I was ashamed, okay? I'm supposed to take better care of the damn thing, but it took me over a week to notice it was gone!" Yuan stared at the floor.

"Don't worry. I'll help you find it." Kratos said.

"Really?" Yuan looked up, smiling.

"Sure. That's what… friends are for."

* * *

When morning came, however, the whole house had been turned upside down, without a sign of the missing ring. 

"Martel is gonna kill me…" Yuan sighed, banging his head on the table as they were having some morning coffee.

"It's not your fault." Kratos said, patting him on the back sympathetically.

"Yes it is. I'm a horrible fiancée!" Yuan wailed. Suddenly, there was a strange beeping sound as a machine on Kratos's desk started printing a piece of paper.

"Finally!" Kratos exclaimed, running over to it and grabbing the paper.

"What's that?" Yuan asked.

"I submitted a question to the Cruxis core system. The calculations are nearly done, so I need to go to Welgaia soon to get the answer." Kratos pocketed the piece of paper.

"Really? What did you ask?"

"I need to know what will happen when all the Mana links are broken. Surely you've noticed those mysterious earthquakes."

"Really? Mysterious earthquakes?" Yuan quickly sipped some coffee. "Well, I'd say it's pretty obvious what will happen."

"Oh?"

"The great seed will germinate."

"Which goes against Yggdrasill's wishes. So we have to stop that from happening." Kratos frowned and leaned against the desk. "But I've got a feeling there might be some nasty side-effects too."

"Yeah, I can name one. Martel will be allowed her eternal rest." Yuan said, smiling sadly. Kratos stared at him. "So, anyway, I'll let you get to work then." Yuan got up from his chair. "Good luck with the Cruxis centre system."

"That's Cruxis _core_ system." Kratos corrected him.

"Whatever." The half-elf stepped into the hallway and headed for the front door.

"Yuan?" Kratos called.

"Hm?"

"Good luck with finding your ring."

"… Thanks." And with that, Yuan stepped outside.

* * *

((Oooh! The tower of Mana scene is nearing! That scene is awesome!)) 


	24. Chapter twenty four

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Okay... The story might actually have 40 chapters... And no epilogue. Heheh... I cannot stop extending the end.

**To everyone who reviewed:** I'm getting awfully lazy... I'm sorry. I'll respond to you all individually again soon. Anyway, thank you sooo much for continuing to read and review! You're all awesome! -_hugs you all_-))

* * *

Chapter twenty-four. 

Still not having found his precious ring, Yuan returned to the Triet base. There, Renegade number four-hundred and one was waiting for him.

"Sir, where have you been?" the Renegade asked.

"None of your business." Yuan said shortly.

"We've just received word that Lloyd and his friends were headed for the tower of Mana to make the pact with Luna and Aska. And Kratos was seen heading there too."

"Ah no! He's going to try and stop them, thereby ruining my plans!" Yuan exclaimed.

"Should we assemble a team to go there?"

"No. Kratos will defeat you in an instant. I'll go myself."

"But sir… He'll recognise you."

"I got lucky before. Maybe I'll get lucky again." Yuan said, turning to leave.

"We'll be rooting for you, sir!" Renegade number four-hundred and one saluted.

* * *

Flying as fast as his wings could carry him, Yuan arrived at the tower of Mana within an hour. 

"Quick jump option would be really appreciated here…" he gasped, clutching a stitch in his side as he landed in front of the door. Not wasting any time, he pushed it open and rushed inside.

"Kratos is already here. I can smell it." He whispered, narrowing his eyes. He quickly ran through the next door, and up the stairs. Finally, he reached the dreaded 'block puzzle' room, and looked up to see Lloyd and his friends crossing the bridge. But a certain auburn-haired man was waiting for them on the other side. Cursing, Yuan flew upwards, and landed in the shadows behind the group.

"Kratos, don't get in our way!" Lloyd shouted.

"No! Listen, the Cruxis core system just finished calculating its answer!" Kratos called. "If you make this pact, all the Mana links will be gone and-"

Not bothering to listen to whatever else Kratos had to say, Yuan shot an energy blast at him.

'Please let me miss! Please let me miss!' he thought. Kratos saw the blast coming and jumped out of the way. 'Yesss!'

"That's exactly what we want!" Yuan stepped forward, ready to fire another blast. Everyone stared at him.

"Don't you get it? What you're hoping for will not happen!" Kratos shouted.

"_You_'re the one who doesn't get it!" Yuan called back.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not infinity!"

"Gah!" Yuan shook his head in annoyance. "Go on Lloyd! Make the pact with the summon spirit of light! Leave Kratos to me!"

"Okay then! Just to let you know, _he_ kicked _our_ asses several times, but _we_ kicked _your_ ass. So technically, you don't stand a chance." Lloyd shrugged. "Well, bye now! It was nice knowing you!" and with that, Lloyd and his friends ran past and teleported to the top of the tower.

'Dammit! He's right!' Yuan thought desperately. Still, he pointed another orb of energy at the auburn-haired human.

"Yuan, why the heck did you team up with Lloyd?" Kratos asked.

"If the tree germinates, and Martel is absorbed, all my troubles will be over."

"That's mutiny! Yggdrasill will kill you!"

"Like I care. I have nothing left to lose. I decided years ago that I don't give a damn about what Yggdrasill wants. His age of lifeless beings is a sham anyway."

"I knew it! You're the leader of the Renegades, aren't you?" Kratos shouted.

"Impressed?" Yuan smirked.

"Kinda. I saw your office. You have a pretty sweet set-up there in Triet."

"You wouldn't believe the insurance I pay for that place…"

"But anyway, you know I can't let you do this, right?" Kratos asked.

"You're too late. Once Lloyd makes the pact with the summon spirit of light, I'll have won."

"No, you won't! If the mana links disappear, the tree will-" Kratos suddenly stopped in mid-sentence, as he saw Yuan pull a certain fruit out of his inside pocket.

"Don't make a move. I've got a tomato, and I'm not afraid to use it." Yuan said warningly.

"Yuan, easy. Let's talk this over." Kratos whispered nervously.

"No way! I've got you right where I want you now. I know your every weakness." Yuan smiled wickedly.

"Shit!" Kratos stepped back, holding up his hands in defence. Suddenly, the ground started shaking immensely. This could only mean the pact had been made. Both seraphim narrowed their eyes, waiting to make a move. Yuan slowly edged his way towards the warp pad, keeping his eyes on Kratos at all time.

"Yuan…" Kratos said slowly.

"Too late!" Yuan threw the tomato at the human, who shrieked like a little girl and dodged it. Then he quickly stepped onto the warp pad behind him to meet Lloyd and his friends.

* * *

((Yup, tomatoes are fruits, not vegetables!)) 


	25. Chapter twenty five

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Okay, I just finished writing this fic, with a grandtotal of 40 chapters! Isn't that cool? This is the biggest fic I've written so far. And it's totally worth it!

**HealingWind:** Yup, he found out now. Poor Yuan won't be safe at his office any longer. Heheheh...

**Da deltadasher demon:** -_sigh_- I'm pretty sure I answered this question several times. Very well, I shall answer it again. If you make Kratos cook something with tomatoes, his affection for Lloyd supposedly drops, and you can never get the full star rank for that dish. Also, Kratos says he doesn't like tomatoes in one of the Tales of the world games.

**Silver Latias:** Saved the day? Hah! That tomato made things worse! If Yuan didn't have it, Kratos might've been able to knock him unconcious, and stop Lloyd from making the pact with Luna and Aska. Then, the tree wouldn't have gone berserk.

**Sesshy is sexii:** Really? A genius? -_ego grows several sizes_-

**Everyone else:** Again, thanks for reviewing! As a 25 chapter gift, Yuan will now sing a song! Go ahead, Yuan!

Yuan: ... -_walks off_-

Errr... He's just a little shy. Eheheh... Eheh...))

* * *

Chapter twenty-five. 

"You did it!" Yuan called, running up the steps to the final seal, where Lloyd and the others were standing.

"You bet we did!" Sheena said, smirking superiorly.

"In your face!" Yuan turned to Kratos who had stopped halfway on the steps. The Renegade leader laughed evilly.

"Dammit!" Kratos grunted.

Suddenly, the ground started shaking again. But it was quite different from the previous earthquakes.

"What is this ominous rumbling?" Regal asked, as the group tried hard to stay on their feet.

"Is that a humongous tree, rampaging out of control?" Raine added, pointing to the Tower of salvation. Indeed, it seemed a large tree was growing rapidly, destroying lots of stuff on its path.

"Run! Ruuuun!" Regal shouted wildly.

"Women and Zelos first!" Zelos called, running down the stairs and towards the teleporter pad. The others followed.

* * *

By the time the group had made their way through the Tower of mana, and outside, the tree had nearly grown its full length. Dark clouds swirled around it in a gloomy way, and you could just make out a woman with long green hair, trapped in the upper branches. She was either dead or unconscious. 

"Who is that woman, who is about to be consumed by the tree?" Raine exclaimed.

"Martel." Yuan gasped.

"Yggdrasill's sister?" Genis asked.

"She's come to take revenge, because I lost my ring! We're all doomed!" Yuan shouted.

"No we're not! It's just that the tree went out of control." Kratos sighed.

"That's not supposed to happen! The mana links were just to form a cage around the Great seed, and prevent it from germinating!"

"That's just part of it. The cage also prevented the Great seed from absorbing too much of Derris-Kharlan's mana. Right now, it's absorbed too much, and gone mental." Kratos explained.

"Nice going, bonehead!" Lloyd snapped at Yuan.

"Yeah, way to go!" Sheena added.

"Hey, I'm not the one making the pacts here! That was you!" Yuan said in defence.

"Because _you_ told us to!" Lloyd shouted. "Plus, we need to blame _someone_!"

"How do you plan to rectify this situation, Yuan?" Kratos asked.

"Erm… Have tea and biscuits?" Yuan asked hopefully.

"Oooh, that sounds good- I mean _no_!" Kratos shook his head.

"Come on! Do I look like a botanist to you? Or a lumber Jack? I don't know the first thing about trees! I can't think of a solution!"

"Think harder!"

"Quick in-between question!" Genis called suddenly.

"Shoot." Kratos said.

"Is the tree going berserk like this in Tethe'alla too?"

"Nah. But I bet there are some earthquakes there." Kratos shrugged.

"Ah, okay."

"Yuan, got an answer to my question yet?" Kratos asked, turning to the Renegade leader again.

"Almost…" Yuan responded, pacing around.

"Gah! Look, it's really easy. Right now the tree is going nuts in Sylvarant. So if we feed it some of Tethe'alla's mana, it'll be shifted back to the centre of the dimensions." Kratos sighed.

"How do you plan to do that? Spoon-feed it?" Yuan asked sarcastically.

"There's this thing called a Mana cannon… And you use it." Kratos said slowly.

"Ooooh yeah…"

"Yuan, I'm gonna ignore what you've been doing, and who you've been working with, if you help us clean up this incredible mess."

"Myeah, okay. Seems fair." Yuan shrugged. "Mana cannon, it is."

"So that means we have to go to the remote island ranch, right?" Lloyd asked, putting on his special 'break into an enemy's base' outfit.

"Not so fast." Yuan cut in. "We haven't modified all the reactors yet. I heard Forcystus reprogrammed his after it crashed."

"So… That means we have to go to Iselia ranch?" Lloyd asked, petting his special 'break into an enemy's base' outfit.

"Sure. But to save time, we'll send Sheena off to the Mana cannon. That way, she can immediately summon the Tethe'alla spirits and fire after we give her the signal." Kratos decided.

"What? I have to go there alone?" Sheena exclaimed.

"I can send a couple of Renegades with you." Yuan suggested.

"Oh, that makes me feel so much better…" Sheena grumbled.

"I'm gonna go with Lloyd. I haven't broken into a base in aaages." Kratos said, grinning. He switched his title to 'Shiver me timbers', and his outfit changed into a pirate costume, similar to Lloyd's.

"I'm beginning to see a link here…" Raine said slowly.

"Wouldn't it be funny if Kratos were Lloyd's long lost dad?" Zelos asked chuckling, and immediately the group was rolling over the ground, howling with laughter. Meanwhile, Yuan and Kratos cleared their throats nervously.

* * *

(('Shiver me timbers' sounds like SUCH a cool title for Kratos! And I can just see him in one of those cool pirate outfits. Mmm...)) 

((I liked this chapter. Maybe it's because of all the interaction between Yuan and Kratos...))


	26. Chapter twenty six

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: I should be studying Math right now...

**Da deltadasher demon:** Yeah, for some reason Kratos was my number one soulmate too. Which was odd, because I was aiming for Zelos. And Zelos options are sometimes incredibly anti-Kratos.

**Dragonwings144:** Seriously? Berries? I thought they were just fruit...

**Silver Latias:** Awww! You'd draw that? Awesome! And, as stated in the author's note of previous chapter (you should read better) the fic will have 40 chapters.

**Master Summoner Sheena: **Yeah, either pirate, or a beach costume! ... And formal too. Mmmm... Formal Kratos...

**Katandshadow:** Clearing throats? XD

**Sesshy is sexii:** I use Kratos and Yuan so well? -_dirty thoughts_- Nah, the gang is not going to go to Derris Kharlan. Mithos turns good before that.

So, enjoy the final part of the ring sidequest!))

* * *

Chapter twenty-six. 

After dropping off Sheena at the Mana cannon with a couple of Renegades, Yuan returned to his office. Trying to pass the time, he played 3D pinball on his laptop for a few hours. Just as he was close to breaking the high-score, and down to his last ball, a loud shriek caused him to look up. The ball went into the gutter with a sad beeping sound, and the words 'game over' flashed across the screen. Yuan looked out the window, and saw a flash of light, slowly fading. He knew what it meant. The Mana cannon had been fired. The tree had been disintegrated, and returned to Great seed form. He was back to the start now. The Mana cannon had turned out to be a sham. Which meant he had to resort to his original plan now. Trying to get Kratos to release Origin's seal. And it would not be easy. He quickly flicked on a communication device. He'd left the other one with Kratos, so that he could contact him if needed.

"Looks like you succeeded." He said.

"Yup. Indeed we did!" Lloyd's voice replied proudly.

"… I owe you my thanks." Yuan sighed, and flicked the device off again. Looking at his right hand, he decided to continue retracing his steps, and try to find the missing ring.

* * *

The next day, Yuan arrived at Palmacosta ranch. This was the only place he hadn't already searched. Sinking to his knees, he started searching the ground where Botta and him had stood back then. Sadly, there was no ring there. 

"It's not here either… I'm sorry, Martel. And I'm sorry, five-thousand gald I spent on the damn thing." He muttered.

"Errr, Yuan?" asked a voice behind him. Letting out a startled gasp, the Renegade leader jumped to his feet.

"You!" he said, turning to Lloyd and the others.

"Nice to see you too, Yuan." Lloyd grunted.

"Tch. Shouldn't you be out, annoying innocent people?" Yuan asked. "Oh wait, that's what you're doing right now."

"Actually, Colette has a deadly disease. We're gathering items to cure her." Raine shrugged. Yuan and Zelos both sniggered evilly at the mention of Colette's sickness.

"Man, getting that damn mana plant was a lot of trouble…" Lloyd groaned.

"Mana leaf herb." Raine corrected him.

"Whateva. So after this, we're gonna look for a Mana fragment at the Tower of Salvation, and we need something called Zircon." Lloyd continued.

"Is it really worth the trouble?" Yuan asked, smiling slightly.

"H-hey!" Colette called.

"I'm wondering the same thing, myself." Lloyd whispered to Yuan.

"We met this story teller guy, and he gave us hot cocoa with marshmallows. And then he told us you travelled with Kratos, Martel and Yggdrasill four-thousand years ago. Is that true?" Genis asked.

"What's it to you?" Yuan asked.

"What was the world like back then?"

"Lame. Incredibly lame. And it's not really improved." Yuan snorted.

"Boy, you _are_ the eternal optimist aren't you?" Sheena asked sarcastically.

"That's me, alright. Mr. Happy Sunshine." Yuan said tonelessly. "Well, I'm off." He turned to leave.

"Oh wait!" Lloyd called "I almost forgot. I have your ring."

"You _what_?" Yuan swiftly turned, and grabbed Lloyd by his collar. "Hand it over, now!"

"Lloyd!" Colette and Zelos called at the same time.

"Gah. Let me down, psycho!" Lloyd gasped, trying to push Yuan off.

"Give me that ring, you thief!" Yuan hissed.

"How about using the magic words first?" Lloyd asked annoyed.

"How about you hand over my ring, and I'll refrain from rebuilding your face with my fist?"

"Seems fair." Lloyd reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring. Yuan snatched it from him, and dropped him to the floor.

"Finally! My precious!" he whispered, turning away from the group and clutching the ring to his chest. Everyone stared at him.

"Man, Yuan. You really are a bit crazy." Zelos said, helping Lloyd up.

"I suppose that's what happens after four-thousand years." Regal commented.

"Are you saying he's turning demented?" Genis asked.

"I'm not turning demented!" Yuan shouted, turning back to them. A silence followed. "Wait, what's demented again?"

"When you grow so old, you start forgetting stuff. Your age addles with your brain" Regal said.

"That's ridiculous! My brain is perfectly fine, errr…"

"Regal."

"Right. I knew that. Well, I'm really going now." Yuan pulled out his pretty lavender wings. "Toodles!" and with that, he flew off.

* * *

((Hmmm... Kinda dull filler-ish chapter, wasn't it? Well, I promise next chapter will make up for it.)) 


	27. Chapter twenty seven

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Oooh, I started a YuanxKratos club on Deviantart! Awesome, no? Anyone who wants to join isfree to do so! (hint hint)

**Katandshadow**: Yes Kat, this chapter will be better. In fact, I just know you'll love it.

**MandiMinamoto**: Nah, I'm keeping closer to the original plot than you might think.

**Master summoner Sheena:** The fact that Yuan reminded you of Gollum was intentional!

**Da deltadasher demon:** Candyfloss wig? You have a random mind, my friend!

**KivaEmber: **I'm... not quite sure what the difference between demented and senile is... Demented would be the right word in the Dutch context, but it could mean something different in English... Ohwell.

**Sesshy is sexii**: Oh, I don't really have anything against Regal. He's okay, I guess.

**Dragonwings144**: Yeah, the Zelos/Lloyd hints are really hard to do now. But I'm trying as many as possible.

**Everyone else**: Once again thanks for reviewing! I can't believe I've kept your attention for 27 chapters now.

Time to start the scene at Altessa's house! Because we all love that scene! It takes like... 3 chapters.))

* * *

Chapter twenty-seven. 

The next day, Yuan was in his office, throwing pencils into the ceiling, when the doorbell suddenly rang.

"Whoah, I have a doorbell?" he mumbled. Putting down the pencil he was about to throw, he moved over to the intercom. "Firstly, this is _not_ a Renegade base. Secondly, the awesome and anonymous leader does not wish to see anyone. Thirdly, if you're a salesman, just keep walking." He said into the microphone.

"Yuan, it's me. We need to talk." Kratos's voice replied.

"Yuan? There is no Yuan here. You must have the wrong address." The Renegade leader said in a low voice.

"Open the door, before I blast it open."

"You wouldn't dare."

"I didn't hesitate to blast your door open that time you were hogging the bathroom."

"Heheheh, I screamed so loud Mithos was deaf for a week." Yuan sniggered.

"Hah! You just admitted that you _are _Yuan!"

"Huh? Ah darn…"

"Now open the door."

"Oh, alright. Geez." Yuan pressed the button to unlock the front door. "And once again, my privacy is blown to smithereens. Well, atleast I'm wearing clothes this time."

* * *

A few minutes later, Kratos entered Yuan's office. 

"Sit." Yuan said, pointing at a chair in front of his desk. Kratos shrugged and sat down.

"So…" he said.

"So…" Yuan replied. A long silence followed. "When you said 'We need to talk', I expected a bit more talking…"

"Well… Lloyd and his friends were running around in Welgaia just now. They stole a Mana fragment." Kratos began. "Apparently, they were right under my nose, but…"

"But you weren't wearing your contact lenses again?" Yuan guessed.

"Hmmhmm."

"One of these days, you're going to trip over a rheaird and break your neck."

"Or get attacked by Llamas again." Kratos chuckled.

"Good times, good times." Yuan smiled. "But anyway… You still haven't told Lloyd you're his father?"

"Nope."

"Planning on it?"

"Meh. Not for a while." Kratos shrugged.

"I see…" Yuan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I think I need to apologize to you."

"For what?"

"I started an underground organisation, intending to stop Mithos's plans. I lied to you all this time. I killed off a couple of chosens, thereby flushing years of Cruxis's hard work down the drain. I caused the Great Seed to go berserk, and when you tried to warn me about it, I didn't listen… And I threatened you with a tomato." Yuan summed up.

"Oh, right… _That_." Kratos cleared this throat. "Well, I'm sure you had a good reason for it."

"You're not mad?"

"Nah. Friends forgive each other." Kratos moved to the edge of his seat, and leaned on the desk. "And if there's anything I can do to help you with, just let me know."

Yuan blinked slowly, not quite catching the hint.

"Actually, there _is_ something you can help me with."

"Really?" Kratos leaned forward a bit more.

"Maybe you can answer a question for me." Yuan said.

"… Not quite what I meant, but okay."

"Remember, this is purely hypothetical. It's not based on real life at all." Yuan began. "Say someone were to… Oh, I dunno… Kill you. Would Origin's seal be released?"

"Nope." Kratos shook his head. "Even though the seal is based on my life, the only way to release it would be for me to agree with it. And, heh, there's no way I'd ever do that voluntarily. You'd have to blackmail me or something."

"I see…"

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason." Yuan got up from his chair, and motioned for Kratos to do the same. The human blinked in a confused way, but did so. "Okay, could you take a step back?"

"Like this?" Kratos stepped back.

"Good. Now a little to the left. Onto that red cross." Yuan pointed to a large red cross on the floor.

"Now what?" Kratos asked, hopping on top of the cross.

"Close your eyes…" Yuan said, smiling wickedly. The human grinned back, and closed his eyes expectantly. Then, Yuan pulled out a large tranquilizer gun from behind his desk, and pointed it at his friend. "I'm sorry." He said, pulling the trigger. A dart with enough sleep draught to knock out an elephant shot into Kratos's neck, and he was out cold within seconds. There was a loud thud as he landed on the floor, sucking his thumb. Resisting the urge to do something incredibly naughty, Yuan wandered over to the intercom and pressed a button.

"Renegade secretary number fifteen speaking. How may I help you, sir?" asked a female voice.

"Contact Zelos for me. I have a job for him."

* * *

((Ahhh... One of my best chapters. With lots of good old Idiot seraphim humour. Did you like?)) 


	28. Chapter twenty eight

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: A little note to those of you who are waiting for the next chapter of Vale of Misery; I'm sorry! I haven't finished it yet, due to some... health problems. **Kat** knows what I'm talking about. Check back tomorrow or Tuesday.

**Da deltadasher demon:** That sure is a funny image.

**Master summoner Sheena:** It's because he never gets visitors. Which is good, considering his base is supposed to be hidden.

**Silver Latias:** Actually, he'd left his Yuan plushie at home.

**Ri2:** The cross was just to show that Kratos is an idiot for actually doing as he's told.

**Katandshadow:** Hug? Boy, he wishes. But he has a job to do.

**Sesshy is sexii:** Yeah, Yuan wouldn't look Kratos in the eye for weeks, but Kratos thinks it was all worth it.))

* * *

Chapter twenty-eight. 

That night Yuan was standing outside a certain dwarf's house, near Ozette. Lloyd and his friends were spending the night there, as they waited for Colette to get better. Yuan had convinced Zelos to put a drug in their food, so they were all sleeping soundly. He glanced over at Kratos, who was still unconcious and being supported by two Renegades.

"Sir, hurry. He's heavier than he looks." Renegade number seventy-eight grunted.

"Yeah yeah." Yuan said, and he teleported himself inside. He nearly got a heartattack, as he found himself face to face with a girl with green-hair. She was just standing there with her eyes closed, and looked like a splitting image of Martel. Yuan nervously poked her. Nothing happened.

'Meh, she must be asleep or something…' he shrugged, and walked on to the bedroom. The gang was in deep slumber. Well, except for one.

"Took you long enough." Zelos said, looking up. He was sitting on his bed, and had apparently been staring at Lloyd, who was occupying the bed next to him.

"Hey, you try dragging an unconcious Kratos onto a rheaird." Yuan hissed back. "Now go to bed and pretend you're sleeping."

"Okeydokey." Zelos crawled under his blankets. "Just don't hurt Lloyd, okay?"

"I'll try not to." Yuan shrugged. Zelos glared at him, before closing his eyes.

'Okay, let's get this show on the road.' Gulping, Yuan summoned an energy blast to his hand, and held it above Lloyd's sleeping body. It would make sure the boy wouldn't do anything sudden. Lloyd stirred, and woke up in shock, noticing he couldn't move.

"What the heck are you doing in my room in the middle of the night?" Lloyd hissed. "Paedophile!"

"Don't flatter yourself." Yuan snorted. "Do you want to meet your father?"

"My father?… Dirk?" Lloyd asked.

"Who?…" Yuan asked slowly, but he soon shrugged it off. "No, I mean your real father."

"My real father…" Lloyd repeated slowly. Yuan smirked and teleported outside again.

* * *

"One-hundred seventeen and two-hundred thirty, go keep watch by the door. The minute Lloyd comes out, threaten him with your swords." Yuan ordered to two of the Renegades. They saluted and ran over to the front door. Sighing, he walked over to Kratos, who was still being held up by number seventy-eight and number eighty-three. 

"Kratos. Wake up." he said, snapping his fingers in the human's face.

Kratos mumbled something about hating school, and continued napping.

"Oh no! The tomatoes are attacking!" Yuan called.

"Where? Where! I knew it!" Kratos shouted, immediately waking up and grabbing the hilt of his sword.

"Heh." Yuan couldn't help but snicker.

"What's going on? Where are we? And why am I being held by two Desians?" Kratos asked.

"They're Renegades." Yuan replied shortly. "Release him." he ordered. The Renegades did as they were told.

"Wow, I feel like I got hit with enough tranquilizer to knock out an elephant…" Kratos groaned, holding his head.

Suddenly, the door of the dwarf's house opened and Lloyd exited. He was immediately stopped from going any further by the two Renegades that were waiting for him.

"Hey, watch it!" Lloyd growled, pushing away their swords. He looked around. "Huh? Kratos? But I thought the Desians and Cruxis were enemies…"

"Yup. We are." Yuan nodded. "Now, let's keep this conversation short. Then again, the drug should have everyone sleeping soundly."

"Drug? You drugged us? Why I oughta-" Lloyd wanted to pull out his swords, but he was once again stopped by the Renegades.

"Now, now… Is that a way to act when you're about to meet your father for the first time?" Yuan asked innocently.

"… Where's my dad? If you've done anything to my dad, I'll-"

"Yeah yeah." Yuan held up his hand to silence Lloyd, and turned to Kratos. "Now then. Release Origin's seal, or your son gets it."

"What the-" Kratos and Lloyd called out in unison.

"It was you! You were the assasin at Hima, weren't you?" Kratos asked, seemingly hurt.

"This means something… But what…" Lloyd pondered for a few seconds. And then it clicked. "No, Kratos can't be my dad! He's way too young! It's physically impossible! And unethical! I-I can't believe it. I won't believe it!"

"How does it feel to have your own son reject you like that?" Yuan asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Tch."

"Looks like you're still not going to release Origin's seal." The Renegade leader sighed. This was going to be difficult.

* * *

((CLIFFHANGER!)) 


	29. Chapter twenty nine

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: I am sooo behind with all my other fanfics! Luckily, this one is already finished.

**Mandi Minamoto**: Oh, they _have_ names. Yuan just can't remember them all. For some strange reason, he _can _remember the numbers though...

**PotatoPuff:** Zelos doesn't discover who he really is inside until chapter... 6 of Idiot seraphim I believe.

**Katandshadow:** The ending won't start diverting until after the gang goes to the Tower of Salvation again.

**Silver Latias:** Is Lloyd ever going to get over the paedophile thing? Yes. Yes he will. In the end, he realises Yuan hates him, and loves Kratos.

**ObligueFireAngel:** Yup, they have been to the storyteller guy by now. Lloyd suffers from short-term-amnesia, as I like to call it.

**Da deltadasher demon:** Heh, I'm not gonna copy it word for word. This isn't a parody fic for nothing.

**Everyone else:** Thanks for reviewing! Again. You all rule!))

* * *

Chapter twenty-nine.

Sighing, Yuan approached Kratos. "You changed once you got a family!" he sniffed. "You never came to our weekly Scrabble evenings anymore. You never laughed at Yggdrasill anymore. You didn't care about us."

"Lloyd need a lot of diaper changes… I couldn't just leave…" Kratos mumbled absentmindedly.

"Just like that time, fifteen years ago, when Anna was turned into a monster. You lost your ability to fight back." Yuan continued. "Such an unfortunate woman. If she hadn't been with you, she'd have never turned out like that."

Kratos's expression turned quite undescribable. Meanwhile, Lloyd had had enough. He walked forward, got hit on the back by one of the Renegades, and fell to the ground. Grunting, he got up again and walked over to Yuan.

"Don't mock my mom." He growled, pulling out his sword. Yuan quickly jumped aside to avoid it, and shot an energy blast at the boy. It was just to paralyse him. But Kratos just _had_ to act all dramatic. Letting out a low "Noooooooo!" he dived in front of Lloyd and got hit instead.

"Kratos!" both Yuan and Lloyd exclaimed.

"Are you alright? …Good." Kratos fell over, knocked unconcious again. Yuan gasped loudly, clapping his hands in front of his mouth. Meanwhile, Lloyd snapped.

"Uaaaaaaaargh!" He shouted wildly. "Lloyd angry! Lloyd smash!" he turned and kicked over a random pot.

* * *

Suddenly, the front door opened and Colette walked out. The Renegades that were still standing by the door quickly raised their swords to stop her from going any further. 

"Lloyd? What's going on here?" she asked.

"I'm so confused! What am I supposed to believe?" Lloyd shouted.

"Calm down, Lloyd!"

"Kratos… The man who betrayed us, and made us suffer… And really hates tomatoes… He couldn't possibly be my dad!"

"Lloyd, you have to-" Colette began, but she was suddenly shoved aside by Zelos, who had appeared in the doorway.

"Don't disappoint me like that! Was everything you said up until now just a lie? That status, and race, and sexual preferences… None of it matters. Your heart is the same!" he said.

"Zelos…" Lloyd stared at him.

"Don't give up. Don't let something as trivial as your old man shake you up. You're still you, right?"

"And don't forget. Kratos saved you." Colette added. Zelos quickly stepped on her foot to stop her from ruining the moment.

"Yeah… He did." Lloyd walked over to Kratos, and kneeled down next to him. "Thanks. But I still can't call you dad."

"Uhm… Lloyd…" Zelos said slowly. Lloyd ignored him.

"Too many people have died. People from Sylvarant, people from Tethe'alla… People from Cruxis… Desians, Renegades, old ladies… People from Ozette and people from Palmacosta… And some grand cardinals too. They're all victims"

"Lloyd, Kratos is unconcious. I doubt he can hear you." Zelos cut in.

"And I say that it's not okay to sacrifice people for a cause. Just like it's not okay to steal a whole bunch of mayonaise at the snackbar. No person should be born for the soul purpose of dying. I'll find a way for everyone to live."

"That was an amazingly corny speech. Congratulations." Said a voice. Everyone turned to stare at Mithos. The boy exited the dwarf's house, and looked around. He raised his hands to shoot Renegade number one-hundred seventeen and two-hundred thirty. Everyone gasped. Mithos walked forward, and shot number seventy-eight and eighty-three too. Everyone gasped again. Yuan backed away, but he too was shot. He flew back a couple of feet, and landed on his stomach.

"M-Mithos, what are you-" Lloyd began.

"Did you think I didn't notice what was going on? How pathetic." Mithos said coldly. "I had Pronyma keep tabs on Kratos, because it seemed he was leaking information to Lloyd's group."

"Uhm… What's _that_ got to do with anything?" Colette asked, blinking. Though she had a good point, she was ignored.

"Dammit! Yggdrasill! How the hell did you find out?" Yuan groaned, rolling over to glare at Mithos.

"Yggdrasill?" Lloyd, Zelos and Colette exclaimed.

"That was a pretty amusing scheme you had going. Hard to believe those filthy Renegades that were always getting in my way, were actually led by you." Mithos snorted and approached Yuan. "If it weren't for my sister's wishes to spare you, I'd kill you right now. Ahahahahah! Ahaha! Ahahahahahahaha!" laughing an extremely cruel laugh, Mithos started kicking Yuan in the gut.

"Stop it! What are you doing? You're hurting him!" Lloyd called.

"Hurting is a bit of an understatement!" Yuan squeaked in a high-pitched voice.

* * *

((Awww... Poor Yuan. -_sniff_- I'm having too much fun with this scene... But then again, it _is_ my favourite.)) 


	30. Chapter thirty

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Third part of the Altessa's house scene!

**Lady Rina:** Omg, you steal mayo too? Shame on you!

**Everyone else:** Wow, I'm really lazy today aren't I? I'm sorry! As a 30th chapter present, Yuan will now recite a poem!

Yuan: I hate you. Get lost.

... See? That almost rhymed!))

* * *

Chapter thirty. 

Suddenly, the front door opened again, and the rest of the group ran out, followed by Altessa the dwarf and Tabatha the automated doll.

"What's going on here?" Altessa asked.

"Mithos! So it's true!" Genis exclaimed, running forward.

"What's true? That you shouldn't have trusted me? Good guess, Genis! Because I didn't trust you either!" Mithos said coldly, shrugging in an awfully girly way.

"No! You're lying!" Genis called out.

"Tch. Oh, hold on while I shoot that wretched girl. You appear to have a crush on her, and my jealousy is getting the best of me." Mithos raised his hand again, and tried to shoot Presea. Altessa jumped in front of her in an attempt to appear heroic. He fell to the ground, wounded in such a way only the doctor from Flanoir could fix him up.

"Mithos… saved me." Tabatha said in her robotic voice.

"Shut up!" Mithos raised his hand yet again, to shoot her too. She tumbled over, and made a nasty cracking sound.

"Mithos… Saved me… Mithos… Saved… Mi-Mi…"

"How could you do that? You even risked your life to save her!" Raine exclaimed.

"Why? Why would you hurt Tabatha and Altessa? You got along so well with them!" Genis said sadly.

"Tch. Tabatha. That doll looks so disturbingly like my sister." Mithos snorted. "I never could stand her. She's just a failed vessel who couldn't accept my sister's soul. Just looking at her makes me sick."

"You little bastard! How dare you betray my best friend!" Lloyd roared, taking out his sword. He fired a Demon fang attack at Mithos, who took the full blast. Then, Genis jumped between them.

"Lloyd stop! Both of you, please. You're both my friends!" the boy called out. "But I like Mithos a bit more…" he added in a whisper.

Suddenly, Pronyma appeared at the scene.

"Lord Yggdrasill?" she asked, peering blankly in front of her.

"Over here, Pronyma." Mithos said impatiently.

"Oh, sorry." She quickly turned around to face everyone. "Your wounds are not yet healed. Please, leave this to the angels."

"All right." Mithos turned back into Yggdrasill, and floated upwards. Pronyma and the unconcious form of Kratos did the same. They disappeared in a flash, as three random angels appeared to take their place.

"Get out of my way!" Lloyd growled, raising his swords.

* * *

By the time the battle was over, Yuan had managed to sit up. Lloyd and the others approached him. 

"Are you alright?" the boy asked.

"With this, all our efforts have been rendered useless." Yuan sighed.

"You planned to make a pact with Origin, and use the Eternal sword, right?"

"Correct. We would then use the Mana cannon to shoot that hideous tower, allowing the Great seed to sprout. Upon learning of your existance from a Desian insider, I thought I could force Kratos to participate. I was wrong…"

"You didn't approve of Mithos's age of half-elves?" Lloyd asked.

"That is just a twisted deception of Martel's dying wish. It is not what she truly desired."

"What was her last wish?" Colette asked.

"She said she wanted to see a world free of discrimination." Yuan replied sadly. Everyone sighed and stared at the floor. The Renegade leader got to his feet with a slight groan.

"You shouldn't move." Lloyd said.

"There's no time. I must evacuate the Renegades before they are killed by Yggdrasill. Or worse, converted into disco minions." Yuan began to walk away.

"Wait!" Lloyd called. "Is Kratos really the one who can release Origin's seal?"

"Yes. Upon releasing the mana in his body, the seal is broken."

"That means he would most likely die." Regal concluded.

"Correct. The seal is based on his life." Yuan sighed.

"So in order to get the Eternal sword, we have to trade Kratos's life?" Lloyd asked, shocked. "That's… not fair."

"Lloyd, you cannot use the Eternal sword." Yuan said coldly. "It does not require the power of a summoner. You must merely be awknowlegded by Origin. However, there is one thing you cannot do anything about."

"Ygg- Mithos said that too." Lloyd frowned slightly.

"Only half-elves can wield it. The Eternal sword was made by Origin, for Mithos." Yuan explained. The boy gasped in surprise and disappointment. He stood shocked like that for about a minute. Yuan shrugged, and left.

* * *

((Hmm... This chapter was a bit too literal when comparing it to the game... Ohwell.)) 


	31. Chapter thirty one

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Yes, I know. I'm a day early. But I felt this _incredible_ urge to already upload the next chapter. Quite unexplainable. To everyone who hadn't already read the previous chapter, I'm sorry.

**Crystal Adept:** There will be more rivalry bits later on. Ofcourse, we all know Zelos is gonna win from Colette eventually.

**Master summoner Sheena:** 11 more chapters, actually. I noticed I'd forgotten a bit from the storyline, and had to add that later on. The grandtotal is 41 chapters now.

**DraNKa:** GenisxMithos foreva!

**Silver Latias:** Yeah, I'm pretty pissed that you can't find Yuan in his bases too. It's still nice to hang around Triet base, and claim Yuan's office as your own, but it's just too... empty. There is an extra scene with Yuan in his base in the PS2 version though. But it's just talk about Mithos... ))

* * *

Chapter thirty-one. 

Yuan sighed, walking around Triet base. It was completely empty. All the Renegades had left under his order. They had been fired. Now that Yggdrasill knew about them, what was the point? And it was for their own safety. Flanoir base had been completely shut down, to save up on electricity and other bills. The silence in Triet base creeped him out. He quickly hurried into his office and closed the door behind him. Things would never be the same now. He'd simply wasted a great portion of his life. And that's saying something, considering he was over four-thousand years old.

Then, he heard a strange beeping sound. It was the communicator. He strode over to it and flicked it on.

"Yes?"

"Yo, it's Zelos!" said a slightly stuttering voice.

"What's with you?" Yuan asked, frowning.

"We're in Flanoir right now. I'm freezing my pretty behind off." Zelos said through chattering teeth.

"So why did you contact me?"

"Just wanted to let you know that Lloyd is planning on challenging Yggdrasill to a final battle. We're going to the Tower of salvation tomorrow morning, when we make sure that dwarf's still alive."

"… I see."

"Just thought I'd let you know. I mean, the guy used to be your friend, and all."

"Yes, he used to be." Yuan said shortly. "Well, thank you for informing me. I'll keep it in mind." He flicked the communicator off again. So, Lloyd was gonna challenge Yggdrasill? That couldn't end well. Sure, the kid had the Kratos gene in him. That was worth something. But without help, he'd easily be torn into shreds.

* * *

The next morning, he hurried over to the Tower of salvation. There was no going around it. Lloyd needed help, and he would provide it. Anything to bring Yggdrasill down. Even if it meant siding with a group of young hoodlums. As he arrived, he saw he was right on time. the group was standing on the steps leading into the tower, and found their way blocked by some angels. 

"Hey, over here!" Yuan called. Everyone turned to stare at him.

"You!" Lloyd shouted.

"Yes, me. Get over here, now!"

As the group ran down the stairs again to meet him, Yuan wandered over to a nearby rock and pushed it aside with his magic to reveal a hidden entrance. Everyone shot through it, and Yuan closed it right in one of the angel's faces.

"Yuan! Why are you helping us?" Lloyd asked, as they descended some steps into a damp cavern.

"Yeah, I thought you hated us?" Sheena added.

"I figured that you guys are my only hope now. It's not like I want to be your friend or anything." Yuan said with a slight humph.

"Naaah, you're just saying that. I bet deep down, you really do like us." Genis nudged Yuan in the ribs.

"Touch me again, and you die." Yuan snarled dangerously.

"Okay, you don't like us." Genis whimpered, backing away again.

"Meh, I thought as much. So what's with this secret entrance?" Lloyd asked.

"See that teleporter pad over there?" Yuan pointed to a teleporter on the far side of the cavern. Everyone nodded. "That leads directly to the top of the tower."

"Oooh, neat!" Everyone gasped.

"And since we're going to be invading Yggdrasill's base, it's time for my special outfit!" Lloyd grinned, and switched his title to 'Arrrgh, me hearties' yet again.

"Seriously, Lloyd, you have too much fun with that outfit." Raine sighed.

"Lloyd is being… silly." Presea added.

"I think it's cute!" Colette exclaimed.

"Oh yeah? Well I think it's cuter!" Zelos said quickly.

"Focus, guys. There are more pressing matters at hand." Yuan sighed.

"Oh, sorry." Everyone quickly paid attention again.

"If you need to stock up on healing items, there's a vending machine in the corner." Yuan pointed to said vending machine.

"What's that doing in a cave?" Lloyd asked.

"I dunno."

"Well, I'm pretty sure we have plenty of items." Raine said, checking her pockets.

"Okay then, off we go." The group turned to the teleported pad, and approached it. Yuan bit his bottom lip, trying to prevent himself from doing something stupid. Too late.

"Wait!" he called. "I'm going with you!"

"You serious?" Lloyd asked, looking back at him.

"Yeah. I wanna stop Yggdrasill too." Yuan quickly joined the group, as they stepped onto the teleporter.

* * *

((And this is where the fic will start diverting from the game! But keep in mind, I'm not doing all those seperate death scenes. It would be too tedious.)) 


	32. Chapter thirty two

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Hurray! The infamous Tower of Salvation scene! But first... reviews!

**Silver Latias:** But Botta's ghost was just a story to scare Mithos. Botta's ghost doesn't actually hang around the Renegade base... Though we _will_ have another flashback for him.

**Sesshy is sexii:** It's hard to keep Zelos/Lloyd hints in here, without the actual Zelos/Lloyd-ing... But I'm doing my best!

**Master summoner Sheena:** The best story you'veread? Just out of curiosity, how many did you read? Can't have been that many.

**Crystal Adept: **Nooo! Don't kidnap Kratos! Here's your update!

**Dragonwings144:** You think it's cuter? ... What's cuter?

**Roy SweetSnow:** Gonna die? ... Did you ever take the Zelos path, or any path other than Kratos for that matter?

Enjoy, Enjoy!))

* * *

Chapter thirty-two. 

The group arrived in the main chamber of the Tower of salvation and looked around. Everything appeared to be quiet.

"Oooh look! There's the Eternal sword! Let's hurry and swipe it!" Lloyd called, running forward.

"Ah ah. Not so fast, Lloyd." Zelos said, grabbing his arm and pulling him back.

"… Why? I mean, it's right there." Lloyd pouted.

"I prepared a little something last time we were here." Zelos grinned, and walked forward. "Hey Colette, come over here for a second." He said, turning to the group.

"Eh? Okay." Colette skipped forward, and stopped in front of Zelos. "Now what?"

"Now, you get to give up your soul!"

"Yay! … Wait, what?" Suddenly, a strange circle appeared on the ground, right where Colette was standing. She froze and stared down. "Shiny…"

"Zelos, what are you..." Lloyd began. He was interrupted when Pronyma appeared behind Zelos.

"Good work chosen. Now, bring her to me." She said pleasantly.

"Oh, sure thing." Zelos smirked. Colette disappeared for a second, and appeared at Pronyma's side.

"Lloyd! Lloyd, help me!" she called. She was ignored.

"Zelos, you traitor!" Sheena shouted.

"Traitor? Zelos was _our_ spy from the beginning." Pronyma said.

"Nobody asked you, Pronyma!" Zelos shot at her.

"Tch. Well, I'm off." Pronyma sighed, and she started to disappear.

"Lloyd! Lloooyd!" Colette called, but she was soon gone too. Everyone sighed in relief.

"This… This can't be happening! Zelos! I still trust you, you hear me? _You_'re the one who told me I could trust you!"

Zelos paused for a moment. Then his smile reappeared on his face. "What are you, stupid?"

"I'm pretty sure we already established that fact." Genis said casually.

"Don't you remember what I said in Flanoir? I side with the strongest! It was a simple matter of weighing Cruxis, the Renegades and you guys. But in the end, I choose this side." Zelos continued. "Tough choice, though. It was definitely either you guys, or Cruxis."

"Hey, are you saying the Renegades were the weakest?" Yuan shouted.

"Yup. You guys suck. Seriously. You never stood a chance." Zelos shook his head sadly.

"You were leaking information to the Renegades too? You bastard! I used to believe that even though you were an annoying pervert, there was still some good in you." Sheena growled.

"Why thank you, my voluptuous hunny."

"Zelos, _why_?" Raine asked.

"Mithos promised to release me of my fate of the chosen." Zelos turned his back on the group.

"You hate being the chosen so much, you'd betray your own friends?" Regal asked.

"It's because of that title that my life has been a joke. I'm sick of it." Zelos crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently.

"But… But…" Lloyd stuttered.

"Well, it was nice knowing you. You'll always have a place in my heart, I suppose." Zelos shrugged, walked over to the warp pad, and disappeared too. At the same time, a group of angels appeared.

"Prepare to die!" Angel number one shouted. Everyone quickly pulled out their weapons.

* * *

A minute later, the angels had already been defeated. Everyone was standing in the chamber, looking incredibly angsty. 

"_Now_ what do we do?" Sheena sighed.

"Well, Colette's been kidnapped. So I say we head to the Altamira themepark and celebrate." Genis suggested.

"No, we can't. We have to go save the brainless chosen." Yuan snapped.

"Zelos?" Lloyd asked hopefully.

"… I was referring to Colette." Yuan replied slowly. "If Martel is downloaded into her body, the world is doomed. We have no choice but to go after her."

Everyone groaned loudly.

"And we have to defeat Mithos while we're there too." Raine added.

Genis groaned loudly.

"And some of us might perish." Presea commented.

Everyone groaned loudly.

"Well, let's go then." The group headed over to the large teleporter pad, that led to the basement of the Tower, where the Great seed's chamber was.

* * *

((OMG, Zelos, nooo!)) 


	33. Chapter thirty three

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Wow, 33 chapters already! I can't believe how long this fic has been going on... Thanks for reading up to this point!

**Silver Latias:** Yeah, SoAlife is broken for me too. I hope it gets fixed soon. I miss the RPG story.

**Crystal Adept:** You can kidnap Colette if you wanna. But she'd just drive you insane...

**da deltadasher demon:** I hope your internet connection gets fixed soon!

**Everyone else:** Newsflash; You rule! Every single one of you! You all deserve a hug from Yuan! Including the reviewers mentioned above!

Yuan: ... Don't you dare.

Get hugging, nancy boy! -_pokes Yuan with a stick_-

Yuan: Tch. -_hug_- ))

* * *

Chapter thirty-three. 

A little while later, the only ones who arrived at the last floor of the basement were Lloyd and Yuan. The others had been forced to sacrifice themselves along the way.

"I'm all alone!" Lloyd whined.

"Ahem?" Yuan glared at him.

"All my friends are dead! Well, except for Zelos…" Lloyd sighed.

"Get over it, pansy." Yuan whacked him in the back of the head.

"I'm not a pansy…" Lloyd squeaked. "Oh look, a bridge!"

"It looks awfully dangerous." Yuan examined the rickety bridge that seemed to defy the laws of Physics.

"Nah. I'm sure it's perfectly fine." Lloyd stepped onto it. Immediately, the stone he was standing on fell into darkness. Lloyd would've joined it, if Yuan hadn't pulled him back.

"Moron!" the seraph shouted.

"Okay, so maybe this bridge _is_ dangerous… Hey, you can fly! Can't you carry me to the other side?" Lloyd asked.

"Are you kidding? Do I look like I can carry passengers?" Yuan shot at him.

"I'll have to sprint then." Lloyd shrugged, and jumped onto the bridge again. As he ran to the other side as fast as his legs could carry him, arrows shot at him from both sides. He managed to avoid them with an odd bunny hop. Yuan flew after him, yawning slightly.

As Lloyd arrived on the other side, a hatch in front of him suddenly opened and shot an arrow right at his chest. He was too slow to avoid it, and fell to the ground with a shriek.

"Lloyd! Lloyd nooo!" Yuan landed next to the boy, and shook him. "You can't die! Kratos would never forgive me!"

"I…" Lloyd said weakly.

"What? What is it?"

"I'm…"

"Spit it out already!" Yuan was nearly crying.

"I'm…" Lloyd paused, and blinked. "I'm alive!" he hopped to his feet.

"W-what?"

"I must be immortal or something." Lloyd stared at the arrow in his chest, and pulled it out.

"You can't be immortal…" Yuan frowned, and got to his feet again. "Something must've blocked the arrowhead."

Lloyd reached into his chest pocket, and pulled out a crystal. "Zelos's Cruxis crystal. He protected me…" the boy shook his head. "No, it can't be. He's a traitor."

"I hate to interrupt your little monologue, but let's just keep going, okay?"

"Okay." Lloyd looked around. "Hey, what's that sound?"

Yuan perked his ears and listened intently. Something was stomping towards them. Something loud and snarling. Suddenly, the wall crumbled down with a loud smash. Standing before them was a very large and evil creature, foaming at the mouth.

"What the heck is that!" Lloyd exclaimed.

"Mr. Snuggles!" Yuan screamed, pulling out his double-sabre.

"Mr. Snuggles?" Lloyd repeated, staring at the monstrosity.

"Yggdrasill's pet rabbit."

"Holy heck! Well… Do something! It looks hungry!"

"There's nothing I _can_ do! Mr. Snuggles hasn't been so fond of me since I tried to feed him carrots." Yuan shuddered at the memory, and tried to avoid the malevolent gaze of Mr. Snuggles's beady red eyes.

"Let's just kill it then!" Lloyd pulled out his swords.

"No! There's no time! You must hurry and stop Yggdrasill!" Yuan called, holding his weapon in front of him in defence, as Snuggles snarled and started approaching him.

"What? But I can't leave you behind!" Lloyd exclaimed.

"Look, I'm not going to hold a sappy speech about how you're such a good and kind kid, because I plainly don't like you that much! So get your ass in that chamber, and save the world, dammit!"

"… Don't die, Yuan!" Lloyd said. And with that, he ran up the stairs and through the door, into the Great seed's chamber.

"… He really _is_ a lot like his dad." Yuan mumbled, turning back to the murderous rabbit monster. Mr. Snuggles growled, and took a swipe at him. He quickly blocked it with his sword. But another swipe knocked the weapon right out of his hands. It flew over to the side, where it slammed into a wall and fell to the ground with a clang.

"Uhoh…" Yuan stepped back nervously.

'So… This is how I die. At the hands of one of Mithos's pets. Typical. Well, atleast I had a nice and long life. Too bad I didn't get to tell Kratos how I feel, though.'

Mr. Snuggles growled again, and raised its paw, ready to strike back for the carrot incident. Yuan gulped. But just as the fluffy monster made its move, the attack was blocked by a certain swordsman.

* * *

((Dun dun duuuun! ... I enjoy cliffhangers too much...)) 

((Yes, it's mr Snuggles! Everyone who has read the Idiot seraphim series will remember mr. Snuggles. He's a wicked little creature, aint he?))


	34. Chapter thirty four

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Heeheeh, I'm eating Spongebob pasta today! ... Errr... I mean... Dinner shall be interesting.

**Silver Latias:** Yeah, I couldn't resist giving Yuan a death scene.

**Kitsu:** Yup, Lloyd talked to Zelos at Flanoir. Only logical he hasn't talked to Kratos then.

**JenniferCrestfield:** Shhh... It's supposed to bea secret!

**Seraphim rhapsody:** Awww, you can have a hug from Yuan too!

**Master summoner Sheena: **Eek! Cannibal rabbit!

**Crystal adept:** Noes! Don't torture Lloyd!

**Dragonwings144:** Nah. Yuan already knows he's gay. Since Botta established that fact for him.

**Everyone else:** Thanks for reviewing! As usual! And enjoy the chappie! ))

* * *

Chapter thirty-four. 

"Kratos!" Yuan exclaimed, his eyes suddenly sparkling again.

"Get your weapon!" Kratos called, trying to hold the rabbit back with his sword.

"Oh, right." Yuan ran over to his double-sabre, and snatched it from the floor. He hurried back, taking a defensive stance by Kratos's side. Mr. Snuggles considered for a moment, but then decided it couldn't win against two men. Sending Yuan one last snarl, he hopped off again.

"You came to save me!" Yuan called happily, turning to the auburn-haired bishie.

"Actually, me and Zelos saved everyone from their traps. They went on ahead to fight Yggdrasill." Kratos explained.

"Oh." Yuan sighed, slightly disappointed. "Hey, wait. Zelos? I thought he was evil."

"Nah. He just pretended to be so he could get his hands on some material for the Eternal ring."

"Oh, that double-crosser! He's confusing the heck out of me!"

"You're one to talk. Whose side are _you_ on?" Kratos asked.

"Errr… At the moment?" Yuan laughed nervously. "The side that kicks Yggdrasill's ass. But what about you?"

"I'm staying a bit neutral, I suppose. I realize that what Yggdrasill is doing is wrong, but I can't side with Lloyd." Kratos shrugged.

"I see…"

A small silence followed.

"Well, I suppose we'd better head for the Great Seed's chamber too." Kratos suggested.

"Yeah, okay."

* * *

The two hurried into the Great Seed's chamber, just in time to see Lloyd and his friends put their weapons down. Meanwhile, Pronyma was lying on the floor, heavily injured, and reaching her hand out to Yggdrasill. 

"Lord Yggdrasill! Please! M-Mithos! It hurts!"

"Uhm… Kratos was the one that knows first aid…" Yuan said.

"Oh, darnit! Foiled again!" Pronyma sighed. Suddenly, Yggdrasill turned around to face her.

"Only my friends can call me Mithos!" he barked. He sank through his knees, grabbed Pronyma by her shoulder and fired an energy blast at her. She disappeared in a burst of odd dark purple bubbles. Everyone gasped.

"How could you?" Raine asked, dumbstruck.

"She annoyed." Yggdrasill responded simply.

"Ah, okay."

"Yggdrasill, you must stop this madness!" Kratos called out.

"Kratos… So you betray me too?" Yggdrasill asked.

"Yeah, duh."

"Yuan put you up to it, didn't he?"

"What are you accusing me of? Are you saying that I have feelings for him, and that I betrayed you because he did the same? Is _that_ what you are saying?" Kratos shouted.

"Errr…" Yggdrasill stared at him.

Suddenly, a microwave ping could be heard. Everyone looked around wildly.

"The download is complete. My sister has been revived at last." Yggdrasill turned to the cocoon behind him, that was opening with a hiss. Colette stepped out, and looked around blankly.

"No! It can't be!" Yuan gasped.

"Colette, are you still in there?" Lloyd asked. The girl stared at him, and then turned to Yggdrasill.

"Mithos… What have you done?" she asked.

"Martel?… Oh! You mean this body! I changed my appearance to befit the leader of Cruxis. Plus, I look way more handsome now. Hold on, I'll change back." There was a bunch of bright lights, and Yggdrasill transformed into Mithos.

"No, I don't mean that, you foolish boy! What did you do to the worlds? Why did you split them apart? Is that really what you think I wanted?" Martel demanded.

"Martel… Why are you angry?" Mithos asked. "Oh, I get it! You don't like that body! Well, I can imagine. Don't worry, I'll make sure to get you a better one!"

"No Mithos. You don't understand. Please, listen to me."

"What? … Why are you acting like that? All… Kind and understanding? Did something go wrong? You can't be the real Martel!"

"Are you insinuating I was never nice?" Martel asked suspiciously.

"Yes! You… imposter! Begone!" Mithos growled. He got ready to hit Martel, but suddenly Zelos appeared at the scene. He pulled Colette out of the boy's reach, and put a keycrest around her Cruxis crystal.

"_You_! Don't you want me to release you from your fate as chosen?" Mithos growled.

"Naaah… I kinda like bossing people around." Zelos shrugged.

"Zelos! I knew you'd come back to us!" Lloyd cheered.

"Yup. I'm sorry I had to betray you. But it was all worth it." Zelos threw a strange shining stone at the brown-haired boy, who stared at it.

"What's this?"

"It's used to make the Eternal ring, I think." Zelos shrugged again.

* * *

((Why is this damn scene so long?... -_sigh_-)) 

((To be continued, next chapter!))


	35. Chapter thirty five

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Oh,a little review shortage, I see. Ohwell.

**Sesshy is sexii:** I think it was called Aionis or something like that...

**Master summoner Sheena**: Well, I didn't want to wreck her character too much. She's still a bit evil though.

**Kitsu**: 'Yutos, the freshmaker!'

**Everyone else: **35 chapters already, huh? Well, we're not through yet! ))

* * *

Chapter thirty-five. 

"Damn you! Gimme back my sister!" Mithos roared.

"Dude, this is _not_ your sister. Let it go." Zelos said, shaking his head.

"Goodbye, Mithos. Please, return this twisted and messed up world back to its original form." Martel sighed.

"No! Martel! Don't go!" Mithos called desperately.

"Tch. If it were going to end up like this, maybe the elves should never have left Derris-Kharlan. Then people like us would never have been born. And now I must leave. I was just playing a nice card game with the other souls inside the Great Seed. Keep out of trouble, or I'll make sure to come back and kick your scrawny behind!" Colette's body was covered by a bunch of odd lights, that quickly flew back to the Great Seed, before she fell to the floor.

"Oh… I see! Ahahahahah!" Mithos giggled insanely, and approached the Great Seed. "You just wanted to leave this filthy world, and go back to our homeland! Well, that can be arranged!" the boy raised his hands to the sky, and the Great Seed slowly started to move. Colette crawled to her feet again.

"Guys, hurry! We have to stop Mithos!" she called.

"Huh? What?" the gang jerked awake again. They'd been asleep for a minute or so.

"Martel is talking to me! Inside my head! She's saying we have to stop her brother, because she doesn't want anybody else to suffer! I'm not crazy!"

"Shut up! Martel would never say something like that! She's much too evil!" Mithos growled, before continuing with moving the Great Seed.

"Lloyd, you understand what this means, right? We'd be betraying everyone's hopes if we lose the Great Seed!" Kratos said.

"All our work will have been in vain!" Yuan exclaimed.

"Yeah Lloyd! We need to do something!" Zelos added.

"Without the Great Seed, the Kharlan tree won't germinate!" Raine called.

"If we want to reunite the worlds, we need that tree." Regal sighed.

"And without Mana, the land will die." Presea stated.

"The people from Mizuho won't stand for that!" Sheena called.

"Plus, we need to save Mithos! I'm sure there's still good left in him!" Genis shouted.

"Why are you all looking at me then? Since when am I the leader?" Lloyd asked, shocked from being put under so much pressure.

"If you try to stop me, I will kill you all!" Mithos growled, turning back to the gang.

"Mithos! No! Please, don't fight us!" Genis said desperately.

"Yeah! We're all friends here! Give up that age of lifeless beings, and join us!" Lloyd called.

"We got cookies!" Zelos held up a bag of chocolate chip cookies.

"Really? Cookies?" Mithos paused. "Still, I'm not really convinced…"

"You have to turn good because… Because… You're my best friend! Maybe even more!" Genis called out.

"Genis! What are you saying?" Raine gasped.

"I cannot deny my feelings any longer!" Genis proclaimed.

"I feel… jealous." Presea said blankly.

"What do you say, Mithos? Want to join the good guys? I can make you a Katz costume, and then we can be Katz together!"

"… My jealousy has disappeared again. Together with my first crush." Presea mumbled.

"I…" Mithos glanced at the group, who was looking at him expectantly. "I'd love to!" he grinned.

"Hurray!" Genis ran forward and glomped the boy to the ground.

"Good to see you back to normal after four-thousand years, Yggdrasill." Kratos stated.

"No… Call me Mithos." Mithos said, pushing Genis off him again.

"Okay, Mithos." Yuan said.

"No. _You_ can't call me Mithos! Only my friends can!"

"What! Why you little-!" Yuan rolled up his sleeves, but Kratos held him back.

"Yup. Everything is back to normal again." The auburn-haired man sighed.

"So… I guess that we've saved the world now? We succeeded?" Lloyd asked, taking out a bottle of champagne and getting ready to uncork it.

"Not quite. The worlds are still split. You still need to make the pact with Origin." Kratos commented.

"Oooohhh yeah." Lloyd groaned, and put the bottle of champagne down again. "Hey wait, that means-"

"Kratos! No!" Yuan called, feeling his stomach plummet.

"I need to pay for my sins. You need the pact with Origin. It's a win-win situation." Kratos shrugged.

"No it's not!" Yuan cried.

"Kratos, I can't-" Lloyd began.

"I'll be waiting for you at the seal, tomorrow morning." Kratos turned and left. Everyone stared after him. This was one fight they weren't looking forward to.

* * *

((Dun dun duuun! Oh noes, Kratos, what are you saying?)) 

((Next chapter will have a Botta flashback! Yaay!))


	36. Chapter thirty six

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Wow, I got lots of positive responses to the Botta thing.

**Crystal adept:** Nope, sorry, no Idiot seraphim 4. It's gotta end some day... And yes, I did complete 3.

**Silver Latias:** You gotta love the broomcloset!

**Katandshadow:** The word necrophilia pops into my mind... (yeah, I misspelled that.)

**Kitsu:** The Katz thing came from Genis having a Katz costume too, obviously.

**Neeako:** Well, it's always nice to have cookies with you, in case of an emergency.

**Dragonwings144:** Yes, Regal's shirt is really really gay. Extremely gay.

**Everyone else:** Thanks for reviewing! You can all have some of Zelos's cookies! Yaaay!

Zelos: H-Hey! My cookies!))

* * *

Chapter thirty-six. 

Yuan returned to Triet base, feeling incredibly gloomy. So, this was it. Kratos would finally release Origin's seal. The goal he'd been striving for would be reached. The worlds would be reunited again, and the Great Seed would germinate. But why was he not pleased?

Sighing, he slumped down in his chair and looked over at a photograph on his desk. It was taken a long time ago, when it was just the four of them. On it, Mithos was pulling Yuan's hair, and Martel was shouting at him. Kratos just stood at the side, staring at this strange scene. Kratos had always been the serious one. He never joined in on games, or joked around. Though this had changed a bit after four-thousand years. Yuan was suddenly reminded of the Scrabble game they still needed to finish. And then he was reminded of a conversation he'd had a long time ago.

/Flashback time/

"Sir, what's this picture?"

"Hm?" Yuan looked up from his game of Minesweeper, to see Botta staring at the photograph on his desk. "The ones I used to call my friends." He replied nostalgically.

"You look like you used to have a lot of fun together." Botta remarked.

"Actually, they were the most annoying days of my life. But I suppose they could be counted as fun." Yuan pondered.

"If I had friends like that, I'd never let them go."

"Even if they turn out to become your worst enemies?"

"Yes. Deep down, they'll always be the same person."

"And what if they had to sacrifice themselves to save the world?" Yuan inquired.

"I'd search for some way to save them. Isn't that what the Renegades are all about? To avoid sacrifices?"

"Botta, you're one heck of a side-kick, but also a hopeless optimist." Yuan sighed, turning back to his game of Minesweeper again.

/End flashback/

"That's it!" Yuan called, running over to his bookcase. "I'll search for another way! Or atleast some way to save Kratos. I can't let him die!"

* * *

Sadly, after a long, sleepless night of flipping through books, Yuan came up empty. He hadn't found any way to prevent Kratos from dying. Though he _had_ discovered a way to turn summon spirits into vegetables for a limited amount of time. But that wasn't very relevant to the current situation. 

'I need coffee…' he thought, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He looked over at his cup, and saw that it was empty. Groaning, he got to his feet and walked over to the cappuccino maker, placing the mug inside it.

'The main problem is that Kratos's mana will be gone once he releases the seal. And without mana, he will die. How do you solve a problem like that?' he yawned slightly, and pressed a button, causing his cup to be slowly filled with coffee again.

"… That's it!" he called suddenly. "When your coffee mug is empty, you refill it! So if someone's mana runs out, you need to refill it!"

Completely forgetting about his coffee, he hurried over to one of the many stacks of books, and pulled out the one titled 'controlling mana for dummies'. Slamming it open, he flicked through the pages until he found what he was looking for.

"It is possible to transfer one's mana from one body to another. If you do so, this will result in your own mana level dropping, and the other's mana level rising." He read. It was followed by simple instructions on how to do so.

"Alright! Yuan to the rescue!" Yuan hopped to his feet, and stared at the clock. "Oh my god! It's ten o'clock in the morning! I hope I'm not too late!" grabbing his cloak, he quickly teleported himself to Torent forest. He appeared in a deserted clearing.

"… Hey, this isn't the location of the seal! Where the heck am I!" he called out in frustration. His voice echoed across forest, and caused a few birds to fly away in alarm.

On the other side of the forest, Kratos Aurion looked up, and listened intently. A long silence followed.

"Kratos!" Lloyd called, running towards him, followed by his usual posse, and Mithos.

"So you've come." Kratos unsheathed his sword. "Well, let's get this over with."

* * *

((Oh noes! Will Kratos win this battle? Will Yuan make it in time? Stay tuned for the next chapter of Idiot Renegade!)) 


	37. Chapter thirty seven

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Hmm... For some reason I'm not receiving anymore review alert mails... Oddness.

**Silver Latias:** Well, Kratos doesn't have to die for our theory to work. He could just be... Err... In a coma due to Mana shortage. Or in one of those coccoon thingies. That'd be neat!

**Master summoner Sheena:** I never knew there were so many Botta fans...

**Zoray Zorial:** Yeah, with the Mana refilling, I was incredibly reminded of coffee, so... It's actually pretty clever, now that I think about it. -_ego_-

**Violet Revel:** An Indian chief? LOL! I can already see Regal with one of those feather... headband... things.

**Seraphim Rhapsody:** Nah, he doesn't have to make his own coffee. He has a cappucino machine. Still, it doesn't beat Botta's coffee.

**Crystal Adept:** That's actually a pretty funny thought! But no, I'm sticking a bit closer to the game.

**Neeako:** Nooo! Not Yuan's coffee!

**Everyone else:** Wow, 37 chapters already... Hey, thanks for reviewing! Enjoy this wonderful next chappie!))

* * *

Chapter thirty-seven. 

Yuan spent the next five minutes running randomly through the forest, trying to find the location of the seal. Atlast, he heard a shout ahead, and sped towards it. He was just in time to see Kratos extend his wings and begin releasing his mana.

"Noooo!"

He quickly hopped over a bush that was in his way, and grabbed Kratos, who was by now falling back. Not wasting any time, he did exactly as the book told him to do, and felt his own mana level dropping. He could only assume it had worked.

"Kratos!" Lloyd called, running towards them.

"Don't worry. I gave him some of my mana. Kratos is… alive."

"So why are you here? I thought you'd be sulking in your office by now." Zelos commented.

"I was. I mean… I couldn't just let Kratos die. I've known him for so long, things wouldn't be the same without him. And besides…" Yuan took a deep breath. "I love him!"

He waited for everyone's jaw to drop, but nothing happened. There was a long silence.

"Why are you not surprised?" he asked slowly.

"We kinda… already knew." Lloyd replied.

"Yeah, it was sooo obvious." Zelos shrugged.

"With all those hints you were throwing around, it was a bit hard _not_ to notice." Regal commented casually.

"You had the hots for him for _years_ now!" Mithos sighed.

"Heck, even _I_ noticed!" Colette called out.

"So… All of you knew?" Yuan asked.

"I didn't."

Yuan looked down to see Kratos staring back at him. Making a strange sound that was a mix between a little shriek and a gasp, he dropped the human to the ground and hopped back.

"Kratos! Buddy! Didn't… see you were awake! Ahahah…"

"Yuan." Kratos sat up again, and observed him closely.

"I'll leave now, and sink through the ground somewhere in shame." Yuan was slowly backing away.

"Yuan..."

"And uhm… Have a nice life."

"Yuan! I love you too."

"W-what?" Yuan froze in his steps.

"Dad!" Lloyd shouted angrily.

"Hush, Lloyd." Kratos snapped. A little glare-down followed.

* * *

"Look, guys, I hate break the moment but… We have a pact to make here." Sheena said suddenly. 

"Oh right. There's a world to save. We can discuss this later." Kratos tried to get to his feet, but fell down again. Yuan quickly rushed over and helped him up, supporting the human with his shoulder. Lloyd made a slight growling sound, but got whacked by Raine.

"Okay, here goes." Sheena approached the sealing stone, and there was a flash of light as Origin, the king of summon spirits appeared, yawning widely.

"Who dares wake me? I was having a nice dream." Origin glanced around the group, and noticed Mithos. "_You_! You lied to me! You said you just needed the Eternal sword to chop up some carrots, and the second I give it to you, you seal me away and split the worlds with it!"

Mithos laughed nervously, and tried to hide behind Genis.

"Uhm, hello?" Sheena called, waving at Origin to get his attention. "I'm Sheena. I ask that thou annulst thy pact with Mithos, and establish a new pact with me!"

"Are you kidding? I don't want to be lied to again! Before I know it, you'll turn the world upside down or something."

"Hey, we're the good guys! We wouldn't do something like that!" Lloyd called.

Origin made a vague snorting sound, and turned away.

"Look, Mithos is sorry for what he did. He apologizes. Don't you Mithos?" Kratos glanced his young friend.

"What?" Mithos stared at him. He received a glare in return. "I mean, yeah. I'm sorry."

"And Lloyd and his friends aren't like him. They're nice kids, and they plan to save the worlds." Kratos continued.

"Oh, very well." Origin sighed. "I'll still have to test you, though. So get ready."

"What? We have to battle this guy?" Lloyd exclaimed, as the gang quickly drew their weapons.

* * *

((Awwwwwwwwww! Yuan confessed, and so did Kratos! And they all lived happily ever after! ... Wait... The story isn't over yet! 4 more chapters to go!)) 


	38. Chapter thirty eight

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Sorry the chapter is two days late! I couldn't log in to my account...

**Silver Latias:** -_hands you a tissue_-

**Kitsu:** It would seem obvious why they built Vinheim 2... But yeah, I'll still get into that in the last chapter.

**Katandshadow:** Nyeah, but at first Kratos just kissed Yuan to mess with his mind. Then he realised he kinda liked it a bit too much...And Yuan is such an idiot, he thought it didn't mean anything, and he was oblivious to all the later on flirting. (Like the Scrabble flirting.)

**Sesshy is sexii:** Coffee truly is one of the world's miracles!

**Neeako:** Pie eating? But that's not fair! Origin has four hands! So he could grab more pies at the same time...

**Everyone else:** Sorry for the wait!))

* * *

Chapter thirty-eight. 

Yuan, Kratos and Mithos just stood at the side, watching, as Loyd and his friends fought Origin. Still, for a king of summonspirits, he was easily defeated. Within minutes, he fell to the ground, panting.

"Very well. I acknowledge your strength. Now, make your vow."

"In order to reunite the worlds, and bring peace, I demand your power." Sheena said simply.

"Agreed." Origin nodded, and turned into an orb of light that flew towards her. "Don't you dare mess up." his voice said threateningly.

"We did it!" Lloyd called, high-fiving Zelos. Colette tried to high-five Lloyd too, but missed and fell flat on her face.

Suddenly, there was a loud rumbling sound, as the ground started to quake. Everyone shrieked and grabbed a hold of something. It took a few moments for the shaking to stop.

"… Yuan, could you remove your hand from there?" Kratos asked, blushing slightly.

"Oh! Sorry!" Yuan turned red and quickly let go of the human, whom he'd grabbed at a rather uncomfortable spot.

Meanwhile, Lloyd was trying to shake off Zelos, who had slung his arms around the boy's neck.

"What the hell is _that_!" Sheena called, pointing to the sky. It had turned a bright purple colour.

"It looks marvellous!' Raine added, going into Ruin-mode.

"That is Derris-Kharlan." Kratos said simply, looking up at it too.

"No way! There's no way a planet like that could appear so close to us!" Genis called.

"It's the power of the Eternal sword that makes the impossible possible." Yuan crossed his arms. "It has remained hidden for several millennia. But now that Mithos's pact with Origin is broken, the camouflage system has broken down. I assume it will leave the planet's orbit soon."

"Well, good! I don't want it near us when the world's been reunited." Lloyd said, finally managing to push Zelos off him.

"Speaking of reuniting the worlds, how about you take out that sword and get it over with?" Mithos asked bitterly.

"Okay." Lloyd nodded.

"Ah, ah, ah. Not so fast." Came Origin's voice.

"What now?…" Lloyd sighed.

"You may have the pact, but you still lack the right."

"Ooops, we forgot the Eternal ring." Sheena gasped.

"So who's going to make it? That Altessa guy still hasn't healed." Yuan commented grumpily. Everyone thought for a second.

"My dad!" Lloyd said suddenly.

"Lloyd, did you get hit in the head? I don't know the first thing about forging rings." Kratos frowned.

"Not _you_! Dirk!"

"Oooh! Heheh, don't I feel silly." Kratos smiled faintly.

"You _are_ silly." Zelos muttered. Kratos replied with a nasty glare.

"Uhhh… Let's go." Lloyd called hurriedly. Yuan, Mithos and Kratos made their wings appear, as the others took out their Rheairds.

* * *

A few hours later, the gang arrived at the Renegade base in Flanoir, where they got ready for the dimensional jump. Yuan, Kratos and Mithos had to take a slight detour through the dimensional portal _inside_ the base, because they didn't have rheairds. They soon arrived in Triet, and another hour later at Dirk's house. 

"Lloyd! What's wrong?" the dwarf asked, staring at the group that came running towards him.

"Dad!… Ring!… Forge!… Bunnyrabbit!" Lloyd gasped.

"Excuse me?" Dirk asked.

Lloyd took a deep breath, before trying again.

"We need you to forge the Eternal ring, so I can wield the Eternal sword."

"Well, I would, if I had the necessary items…" Dirk replied, frowning.

"You mean these?" Kratos held out a bag filled with random junk.

" Let's see here…" Dirk rummaged through the bag. "Aionis, Sacred wood, Adamantite, 'Forging an Eternal ring for dummies'… What's this?" the dwarf pulled out a teddybear that looked an awful lot like Yuan. Kratos flushed and snatched it from his hands.

"Gee, how did that get in there?" He stammered.

"Yes, I'd like to know the same thing." Yuan said, crossing his arms.

"Errr, no time to waste! Let's get started!" Kratos hurried into the house. Everyone shrugged and followed.

* * *

((Little funfact: I had to add the whole Eternal ring thing later on, because I forgot about it.)) 


	39. Chapter thirty nine

((A/N: Tch. I can't upload Word documents again... Ohwell.

**Kitsu:** The bunnyrabbit was just random, I guess...

**Silver Latias:** It would be cute if Kratos learned how to forge rings, just to propose to Yuan... Awwww...

**Seraphim Rhapsody:** Obviously, they watched the gang clobber Origin, and ate lots of popcorn.

**Sesshy is sexii:** But Yuan never married Kratos. So technically, I don't think Yuan would count as a dad...

**Everyone else:** Thanks for reviewing! Time to reunite the worlds, y'all!))

* * *

Chapter thirty-nine. 

A few hours later, they arrived at the Tower of Salvation, ignoring the way people were running in circles and pointing at the sky.

"Let's get this show on the road!" Lloyd said, rubbing his hands in an excited way. "Oh, this calls for a special outfit!" he quickly changed his title to 'Nobleman'.

"I can't believe this moron is my son…" Kratos mumbled.

"Don't be such a hypocrite Kratos." Mithos said.

"Yeah, remember how much fun you used to have with your 'Altamira bunny' title?" Yuan smirked slightly. Everyone turned to stare at Kratos.

"You heard nothing." The man growled dangerously, after whacking Yuan on the head.

"Uhm… Okay." Lloyd frowned, and turned to stare at the Tower of salvation again. He held out his hands in front of him. "Eternal Sword, I summon thee."

"No need to use stuffy language…" Origin's voice said slowly, as the overlarge sword appeared in Lloyd's hands.

"Eternal sword… Reunite the worlds!" the boy called, holding the sword above his head. Immediately, a bright beam shot out of it, and colourful lights spread all around both worlds. The gang was so impressed by this amazing scene, they didn't notice the summonspirits give out loud gasps. A minute later, the lights finally subsided, and the worlds were reunited.

* * *

"Success!" Yuan cheered. "The harmony is restored at last!" 

"If that's true, then why is the ground shaking like that?" Raine asked, as everyone quickly had to grab hold of something.

"Yuan, you're doing it again." Kratos said slowly, and Yuan hurriedly pulled his hands back.

"What's happening?" Genis called, clinging to Mithos's arm.

"It's the apocalypse! We're all gonna die!" Regal shouted wildly, throwing himself onto the ground.

The group was even more shocked when suddenly all the summonspirits appeared, circling around them.

"Guys, what's going on?" Sheena called desperately.

"The worlds have been reunited. But as it stands now, it lacks mana to be supported. By reuniting the two worlds, you have screwed us all over. Thanks a lot, you bastards." Origin's voice said.

"I don't wanna know what's causing it! How can we stop it?" Lloyd called, swinging the Eternal sword in fury.

"Hey, hey! Easy on the goods!" Origin shouted. "If you wish to save the worlds, the only way is to get the Great Seed to germinate. You must feed it Derris Kharlan's mana."

"Oh, that's all? Okay." Lloyd nodded.

"The chance that you'll fail is pretty damn big. Do you still intent to try?"

"Uhm… Duh!"

"Well then, good luck."

Lloyd raised the Eternal sword to the sky, teleporting the Great seed out of the Tower's basement. It floated before them eerily. "Come on! Germinate!" he called, as some of Derris-kharlan's mana was sent towards it. It simply bounced off.

"It's being deflected!" Mithos called.

"No! Please! We need you!" Lloyd shouted. He closed his eyes in concentration, and suddenly sprouted a pair of enormous blue wings. Everyone gasped. The boy took off from the ground in the fraction of a second, and flew over to the Great seed.

"He won't make it by himself." Kratos said, frowning.

"We have to help him!" Colette called, making her wings appear too.

"Alrighty then!" Zelos quickly shoved the girl to the ground, and sprouted a pair of orange wings, laughing insanely.

"Why is everyone suddenly turning into an angel?" Sheena shrieked in frustration.

"Later, hunnies!" Zelos said with a wink, before flying after Lloyd.

"Hey! Wait!" Colette roared, speeding after him.

"Think we should follow?" Yuan asked.

"Yeah, okay." Mithos shrugged. The three seraphim left too, leaving the simple mortals behind.

* * *

((Dun dun duuun... What will happen next? Will the tree germinate? Obviously, it will... But I gotta keep the tension up, ya know. Sooo... stay tuned!)) 


	40. Chapter forty

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: Wow... 40 chapters. When I started this fic, I didn't think it'd have over 20. I've amazed myself...

**Crystal Adept:** I wanna see that pic when it's finished, okay? Eheheheh...

**Seraphim Rhapsody:** You know, that's an excellent question. Let's just assume Regal got to his feet again eventually.

**Kitsu:** Everyone's turning into angels, because we're leading up to Idiot Seraphim now.

**Sesshy is sexii:** I bet Sheena would look awesome as an angel too. But it's never gonna happen.

**Everyone who reviewed, including those mentioned above:** Hey, thanks for reviewing up to this point! As a 40 chapter present, Yuan will now run around, wearing nothing but a towel!

Yuan: Most certainly not!

... Uhm... Okay, how about some cookies instead?))

* * *

Chapter forty. 

"It's time to give this everything I've got." Lloyd growled, pointing the Eternal sword at the Great seed before him.

"I'm gonna help you, bud!" Zelos said, appearing next to him.

"Zelos, since when are you-"

"No time for questions now!" the chosen said hurriedly, looking behind him to see Colette approaching at top speed. He grabbed the Eternal sword by the handle too.

"Eternal sword, this is my final wish. Please, feed Derris Kharlan's mana into the seed to make it germinate." Lloyd called.

"Yeah, what he said!" Zelos added.

"Rise, giant Kharlan tree!"

A bright light shot out of the blade of the Eternal sword, and hit the Great seed. It soon spread out, enveloping the entire world. Everyone was momentarily blinded.

* * *

A few miles away from the Tower of salvation, Tabatha was spacing out, as the Great seed suddenly appeared before her. It absorbed her instantly. The leaves began to disappear, and soon all that was left was a woman with long green hair. She bore a resemblance to Martel, and carried a long staff with her. Staring at the dry ground sadly, she started walking, until she reached a small sprout. She sank through her knees, and touched the leaves, smiling faintly. Then, she looked up sharply as Lloyd and Zelos landed behind her. A few seconds later, Colette arrived at the scene too, followed by Yuan, Kratos and Mithos. 

"Lloyd Irving. I am so glad we could meet." The woman said. "And the seraphim of Cruxis too." She added, sounding remotely impressed.

"... Martel?" Yuan asked, squinting slightly.

"No, it can't be! Martel's clothes are different. And her hair too." Mithos said sharply.

"Then… you're not Mithos's sister?" Lloyd asked.

"No." the woman shook her head softly. "Martel is but one of many souls who resides in me. I am Mana, and the soul of the Kharlan tree."

"Ooooh… The soul of a tree!" Lloyd grinned sheepishly.

"So… Where is the tree?" Zelos asked, looking around.

Mana glanced down at the sprout next to her. As she did, it started to grow into a large, magnificent tree. But it was just a faded image.

"What you see now is the future of the tree. However, without your help, Lloyd, it will not grow to be like this." Mana said.

"Why? What can _I_ do?"

"This tree grows on hope, and love." Mana explained. "Do you think you can manage taking care of it?"

"You bet!" Lloyd grinned.

"Yeah Lloyd! It'll be _our_ tree!" Colette said suddenly, pushing Zelos aside and grabbing Lloyd's arm.

"Wh-what?"

"Then, I must ask you to choose a name for this tree." Mana continued, not noticing the interruption.

"A name?" Lloyd repeated.

"This tree was planted here by the elves, when they first came to this world. It spreads happiness and mana all around. You must name this tree, as a proof of the pact you've made with it."

"Yeah, Lloyd! Pick a name for _us_! A name for everyone's tree! But mostly _ours_!" Colette said cheerfully. Zelos grabbed her by her hair, and pulled her off the boy.

"Go on bud." The red-headed chosen said encouragingly.

"Alright. I've got it!" Lloyd looked up at the image of the large tree before him. "From now on, this tree will be known as…"

* * *

((... Splinter!)) 

((Ah, did you notice all the references to Idiot Seraphim? But we're not through yet! One more chapter to go!))


	41. Chapter forty one

Tales of Symphonia, idiot renegade

((A/N: -_insert dramatic thememusic_- Gather round, gather round! The last chapter of Idiot Renegade! The shocking conclusion! But first... review replies!

**Neeako:** I considered it, but... We don't know enough about the Kharlan war. Plus, with Martel there, there won't be any YuanxKratos. So nope, no Idiot Kharlan Heroes.

**Crystal Adept:** Yeah, I remember that comic. It's pretty damn good. I love Kratos's expression in the last panel.

**Master Summoner Sheena:** In my Idiot series, yes, he _did_ name the tree Splinter. Though the official Tales name is Yggdrasill. That is proven in Tales of Phantasia, where the tree plays a pretty big part.

**Kitsu:** I'll miss it too... -_sigh_-

**Seraphim Rhapsody:** Yeah, I suppose everyone was lucky that it was Mana, and not Martel. Because Martel... wouldn't be so kind this time.

**Brandy Mallory:** Yay! I rock!

**Dragonwings144:** Oh yes, there shall be fluff. Lovely fluff. Eheheheh... -_wrings hands in an evil way_-

**Silver Latias:** -_hands you another tissue_- Don't cry. I'll see if I can think of another humor fic...

**Everyone who read the fic up to this point:** Thank you sooo much! I hope you enjoyed it!))

* * *

Chapter forty-one. 

Later that day, two seraphim were sitting on a ledge on top of mount Fooji, staring up at Derris-Kharlan.

"So… The world is saved now, huh?" Yuan asked, sighing slightly.

"Yeah. It'll take some getting used to, I suppose. A united world. I can only assume everyone will be confused." Kratos responded.

"Let's hope Sylvarant and Tethe'alla don't start a war again."

"Heh. That would suck. But I heard Zelos is sending a Tethe'allan emissary of peace to Iselia."

"Oh, that's good. The idiot chosen finally makes himself useful." Yuan chuckled. "I thought he was going to join Lloyd on his quest for exspheres?"

"Nah. Lloyd wanted to go alone. He's trying to avoid Colette, and thinks Zelos might slow him down." Kratos laughed.

"Poor Zelos must be heartbroken." Yuan concluded.

"Yeah, but he'd never admit it. He's still in denial afterall."

"Martel bless the ignorants." Yuan sighed, smiling.

"So… You love me huh?" Kratos asked suddenly.

Yuan didn't respond, unsure of what to say.

"How come you didn't say anything sooner?" the human continued.

"Same reason as you, probably. I was afraid you didn't feel the same way." Yuan stared blankly ahead.

"You didn't actually think I would laugh at you?" Kratos asked.

"Oh, come on! I _know _you would!"

"… Yeah, I probably would've. Damn, I'm pretty evil."

"I thought we'd established that fact a long time ago?" Yuan chuckled.

"Hey!" Kratos called out indignantly. He wrapped an arm around the half-elf, who blushed.

"Guys! Guys!" Mithos came running towards them. They both groaned loudly.

"Can't you see we were having a moment here?" Yuan snapped.

"What's wrong?" Kratos asked impatiently.

"That!" Mithos pointed at the sky. "Derris Kharlan is leaving!"

"Yeah. Isn't it wonderful?" Yuan grinned.

"Don't you get it? Welgaia, Vinheim… my home! It'll all be lost in space!" Mithos shouted.

"Why don't you go live at Genis's place then?" Kratos asked, frowning.

"He's being forced to travel around the world with Raine…"

"Just build yourself a new home then." Yuan sighed.

"Yes. It can be bigger, cosier and nicer than Vinheim." Kratos added.

"But where? I like my privacy… I don't want girl-scouts banging on my door to sell me cookies." Mithos frowned.

"The top of the Tower of Salvation is nice." Yuan suggested. He felt a strange need to lock the boy in there, and swallow the key.

"Hmm… Well okay. I suppose I don't have a choice." Mithos turned to leave. "You two had better start packing then."

"What? Why?" Kratos asked.

"Even though you both betrayed me, you're still members of Cruxis. You have a binding contract, you know. You'll have to move in to my base too."

"What!" Yuan shouted.

"But we can't start an age of lifeless beings anymore. Why would Cruxis still exist?" Kratos frowned.

"Now that the worlds are reunited, people might resort to discrimination again. We need to stop that from happening. So that's Cruxis's goal from now on." Mithos explained.

"Sounds boring." Yuan groaned.

"Well boohoo!" Mithos said sarcastically. "I'll be expecting you two at the Tower of Salvation tomorrow, to help me build our new castle." And with that, he left.

"Stupid Mithos and his stupid plans…" Yuan grumbled.

"Well, look at it this way. We might get to share a bedroom." Kratos smirked slyly.

"Okay, it sounds a bit better now." The ex-Renegade leader admitted.

And that's how the three guys from Cruxis moved into Vinheim the second, not knowing what kind of adventures lay in store for them.

* * *

((Awww... Ofcourse, if you've read Idiot Seraphim, you'll know what kind of adventures lay in store for them. If you haven't read the Idiot Seraphim series yet; Get started!)) 

((Again, thanks for reading, and be sure to leave a review!))


End file.
